Getting shot as the messenger - ideas?
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|Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:32pm|
The problem is he doesn't think that this is a typical characteristics of women/men, he thinks that I DON'T let many things go, things that in his mind are not important. I think this is because he and his ex-wife almost never brought up ANY problems between them, which he admitted to be a big problem that led to her affairs and their divorce.
I tried to explain to him several times that just because the problems are not brought up/discussed, doesn't mean they don't exist. Since I'm more proactive and more in touch with my feelings than he is, I naturally bring up problems more often. He said he understands, but I still feel that he's being resentful because I bring up more problems. He said he's becoming desensitized by the frequency of the problems. Nowadays, we had a small argument every couple weeks, is that often? It's not like I plan to create problems, it just happens, you know what I mean? He makes me feel that I'm not as good of a person he is because I can't "let more things go" (which is not true, because I never complained/get upset when he doesn't wash dishes, help clean, leave dirty clothes around the house, etc.)
Any advices/similar experiences? I appreciate your comments! Thanks.