HELP! New & Extremely confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
HELP! New & Extremely confused
22
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:22pm

Hi-


I am new to the board and not married..just seriously dating and need advice from people who have been where I am. I feel as if I am a participant on a Jerry Springer show.


Long story short- I am a professional female, never married, no children ( was engaged twice,but both cheated). BF has an ExW and a son. He pays a lot of alimony which will end in 2-3 years. ExW never worked during their marriage. ExW needs to get married or she will

seachells

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 9:50am

Hi and welcome to the board.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:49pm

Welcome to the board!

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:03pm

Hmmm....where was the line?

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:30pm

Pulling into the police station was brilliant!

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:33pm

Hi, and welcome.


Are you pretty sure about the relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 8:06pm

Thanks Everyone-


I guess I wrote for advice and to vent. Last week at this time, I was so stressed out, I wanted out of everything. I do not trust him at this point either...not because of what she has stated or written...for the fact that I catch him in lies, he also did not support me during the last 2 weeks. In fact his one quote was "I could not hear about it from you,

seachells

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 8:57am

In my mind, you stated the reason to back away.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 11:31am
My personal feeling is that I wouldn't want to be involved in a relationship that has all this drama & stress added to it. There are plenty of people out there who are divorced but get along reasonably well w/ their exes, even if they aren't best friends, and can co-parent for the benefit of their children. I wouldn't want to be looking over my shoulder all the time worried that someone's ex wants to hurt me and that he won't set boundaries.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 3:09pm

Thanks again-


I attend therapy. Not because of this, I do it for myself. I just want peace and as much happpiness as I can have. I have been through many physical hardships. BF will not go into therapy. Would not even for their marriage. He would not even set medicinal boundries for child during their marriage..he is a physician, so knows side effects..however X and another physician insisted a 5 yr old be placed on a controversial drug. If one will not protect one's child, just not to set present wife off, there is nothing else I can say to explain his fear of her. 5 years later, the medication has had class action lawsuits against it

seachells

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 8:31am

Hi Seashells,


Welcome!


There were a couple of questions I see others had as well, and I missed seeing the answers to them, but I think they are the right questions to be asking right now:


1.

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