Okay. Here's his take on himself
I remember you and him from Single Mothers board.
I've read your long post on finances. This isn't really even about finances, or spending, or saving money.
I havge to agree with the other ladies replies, he is not going to be the man that you seem to want, and he can;t be made into something else.
Personally, the comment about making sure "your" children have their homeowrk doen irritates the he!! out of me. Yes, they are your children but so what, if he is going to be their stepfather, what does he want, a medal for making sure homeowrk is done?: Its not that difficult of a job to oversee homework, as a matter of fact, I would consider it a bare minimum of a contribution.
Getting off soapbox now, I wish you the best!
thanks to everyone.
I'm playing "bitterness yo-yo" today. I keep trying to give it up but then take it right back (the bitterness, that is). :(
thanks for all the hugs.
Remember when I said "I can't shake this nagging feeling that he feels like nothing he does is good enough."
He and i have talked about this too. I told him it wasn't about "doing and doing and doing". I told him it is about who he is on the inside: His Heart.
I've explained that when i say "not good enough" I mean not settling for the minimum but going after the maximum. I feel it is an attitude and a mindset.
Now that I understand.
This sounds a lot like my ex. His whole attitude was "this is who and what I am" there was never any options of making our lives better together. Unfortunately I had married him :(
It just sounds like a vicious cycle to get drawn into. There is nothing wrong with bettering yourself and your life, especially when there are children involved. Whether it, financial, health, education or whatever, we all need to have clear goals in mind, and if there is a SO in the picture, it is so important to at least support each other. Doesn't mean you have to ahve the same goals, for example ny financial goals are vastly different from SO's but we do support each other in acheiving them.
P.S. Serenity, I'm not Julia, I'm Liz.