I know when I wrote about SS #1
It must be difficult to stand by & watch & not be able to do anything.
The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
(see my other posts)---
I think we live in parallel universes!....well, I'm a few years ahead of you here....LOL....
Ah, yes, the "EOW" visits with SS age about 16 (he's 21 now).....
So, Friday night,...dad picks him up---over 2 hour ride here---entire time in the car, SS is telling dad about all of the things he "needs".
Remember, the only person that can change the dance is you (or well, your DH). Even though his X refuses to go to counseling, he could go himself, to learn more about how to deal with her and his DS. I agree with everyone though, if the DS has learned that all Dad is is a bank, that's the r'ship they'll have. I wrote in another post how my 1xh was like that...and he was in his 30's. He still felt "dad owned him" and he made sure "dad paid". And since his Dad did, and since his Dad never asked nor wanted respect, he never got that from his son.
Maybe it's time to ask DH what kind of r'ship he wants with his son. Right now, it's disrespectful and he's a bank, nothing more. If he wants more, he's going to have to change the dance. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, his son will get angry with him. But a father/son r'ship based on "prostitution" isn't a r'ship. I wrote that word, yes, to shock you. Think about it. He gives his son money and material gifts in exchange for him being there. Not even his love or his companionship, but just for him to be there. All they have is a transaction. He's got to want more. Maybe he should see the T and ask him what he can do to
First I want to say that