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|Tue, 11-20-2012 - 9:30am|
So...is everyone ready for Thanksgiving and what are your plans? I have a busy 5 days coming up and am trying to be positive, but, as you all know, holidays have been difficult for me since my divorce 5 years ago in regards to my daughters. DD28 didn't even bother telling me she wasn't coming home for either holiday (she lives 1500 miles away). I got to find out from DD21 and on Facebook. She's working massive hours now that she's in management and is using that as an excuse for not being in contact with her family. I private messaged her on Facebook and told her I understood about her working so much, but that she has a family who loves her and would like to hear her voice every now and then. It's been about 3 months since we've actually spoken. sigh
I told dh he could do whatever he wanted in regards to a Thanksgiving dinner...that I know my DDs would rather be with their father's family, so I just don't care. His DS29 lives out of state now and isn't coming home nor is my DD27, so that basically leaves just his DS19 and my DD25 and DD21. So, we're doing nothing. Dh's family lives 2 1/2 hours away and are celebrating their family dinner on Saturday, so we're going there. I'm spending my day putting up our Christmas tree as DD27 and her SO are coming to town Saturday (she has to work on Thanksgiving), so we're having them over to dinner to celebrate both holidays on Sunday night as they are going to her SO's parents' for Christmas. I told DD25 and DD21 to just come over to my place when they get bored at their father's and we'll watch a movie together Thursday night, then get up Friday and do Christmas shopping. DD25 is finally moving into an apartment, so I told her I'd buy her bedding and DD21 wants clothes, so I told them Friday would be a good day to do it although I hate the crowds and traffic as DD21 is in college and DD25 and I both work, but we all have that day off. I asked both DDs to spend the night at my place which DD25 was ok with, but DD21 said "Why would I do THAT when I have a bedroom at Dad's?" UGH I told her only DSS19 would be home (she was afraid DSS29 was coming home and she doesn't feel comfortable around him after all he's done plus my girls don't really know dh's sons and vice versa). I told her DSS19 was going to sleep in dh's office on the futon, so they could have the basement bedroom. I told her sometimes MY feelings should come before HERS. DD25 doesn't give me any grief as she has finally grown up. But, she did say when we were talking about he holidays that she HATES the holidays. I think me and my girls all feel that way anymore. Plus, I'm taking DD27 and her SO out for coffee Monday morning before they leave fully thinking dh would join us. He said no way...he doesn't like my DD27 or the way she treats me. I told him he needed to forgive and get that past as I do and, if he's gonna be that way, then to not expect ME to go out to dinner or be with HIM and HIS kids when they do stuff. UGH Blending 2 families at the holidays that just are unblendable makes it extremely difficult.
So, I'm trying to remain upbeat, but dh and I both are disappointed at how our lives are at our age. Having 7 children ages 20-30, we thought we'd have some married with children by now and family holidays would be fun with little ones around, etc...and it's just not the way it's turned out. Personally, I'd rather leave town with dh and take a cruise.