I Need a Hug!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
I Need a Hug!!!!
23
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 9:48am

The stepson saga continues - now with two of them weighing in and fighting with us.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:20pm

Well, J, I'm sure it's painful for him but it's also a really positive step--thankfully the 2 of you are in therapy.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:39pm

Oh Green!

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:45pm

Thanks, Serenity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 12:48pm

You would think that she would want a break from the 14 year old sometime but I think she has her older son or daughter "babysit" - she has a next door neighbor that has a kid his age so they spend tons of time at their home and of course, the X-box diversion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 1:15pm
Well, big big gigantic hugs from me.

It's nice to see that you DH is "p-whipped" (j/k) and more on board with how to react with his son's. It's a big change for the kids and a big change for him. Glad he's sticking to his guns....and even correcting them when you remind him he backslid. Awesome!

It's good to see you two are in therapy to learn how to handle this. I can see that it's helping your r'ship and as volatile his is with his kids, I honestly think in the long run, things will get better.

More hugs. Hang in there, DH is doing great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 3:46pm

Thanks - I actually felt that one!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 5:11pm

I just needed to chime in on the whole entitlement scene...This past weekend when DSD (14), who I thought was behaving like a real "peach" anyway has the nerve after just getting into a big fight with my SO and her brother which resulted in them having to be sent to their rooms about 20 minutes before it was time to go back to their mom's (thank GOD)...to say to my SO as she's departing the car, oh and don't forget Dad for Christmas the Mac Book Pro (air) 1000 dollars, about three times as she's getting out...I wanted to strangle her and it really for a moment made me want to return the netbook laptop that I got an amazing deal on (nowhere near 1000 dollars) (on) Black Friday that we are giving to her for her Christmas gift....AHHHHHH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 5:59pm

Thanks - I think she should be just FINE with whatever you get her and if not, let her trade it in and pay the balance to get the more expensive item. I guess I'm lucky.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 6:28pm
Ok, you two are reading my mind....

The DS16 is used to a different diet at this moms, so I told him to make a list of a few things for the next time I went to the store. (It seems to be a no-win situation no matter what I cook. But to his credit, he does thank me for cooking and will tell me when something was really good) Finally a week later he scribbled a few things down on a napkin and I did not get everything, but a few things he said he liked.

And get this.....the next time he went into the cupboard, he made a smart comment that I only got about "20% of what he asked for." Luckily, the mood was light at the moment, and SO quickly pointed out I actually got 4 out of 5 things he requested.

I understand that a 16 year old boy does not want to cook, but me and SO agree that we are not going to buy him a bunch of junk food, or things that are expensive. Plus, I have never seen this child eat leftovers.

Like I said before, alot of his huffing and puffing is around food. He has never raised his voice to me though, but the look on his face and his demeanor says it all!

I have no idea what he tells his mom, but I think she is probably like me, and just states that everyone does things different, and neither is right or wrong. Thats what I tell him, anyways.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 6:51pm

OK - so here is how I handled the food fights with my stepson.

Pages