The In Laws and The Holidays

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
The In Laws and The Holidays
9
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 11:36am

I always am leery about spending the holidays with my in laws because of the comments they make. Inevitably every time my mother in law sees me she comments about my hair and my weight. I tend to let my hair grow long but sometimes I like to have it cut in a bob. My mother in law and the whole side of that family prefer my hair long so if I cut my hair I get comments why do you always cut your hair so short and each time we see you you keep cutting it shorter. We like it long. Same thing with the color. Sometimes I have highlights and sometimes I prefer my darker hair. Why is your hair so dark. It's too dark. That's my natural color. Are you sure? It's so dark. So when my hair is long and light everyone is peachy happy but God forbid I cut it or grow my natural color out. I also tend to gain and lose the same twenty pounds depending on how stressful the year has been. My mother in law will

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 11:30am

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 11:04am

I love trhat answer!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 10:13am
Yeah---it seems like they just dont have anything else worthwhile to say to you (how about, "what's new with you DP?" "how's work?" "how's your family?", etc?)

Since you mentioned the morbid obesity---maybe next time they comment re: your hair, you could mention your stylist says this look is "slimming" and "you should try it ". hah.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 5:15pm
Maybe it is their way of making themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. Still doesn't excuse rudness, but it may be the reason.

Glad to hear Thanksgiving was rather uneventful.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 2:48pm

I was lucky this year. All I got was my brother in law said when did you highlight your hair? I did it about four months ago but I played dumb. I said I haven't done anything to my hair. What are you talking about? I then said I'm letting it grow and I haven't cut it nor done anything to it. He shrugged and left it at that. I then told my husband, your brother doesn't like my highlights. He rolled his eyes. No big deal. I don't have to see my inlaws often but it is obvious that they all missed the manners boat. Considering they all are morbidly obese and don't take good care of themselves it's ridiculous that they should judge me at all yet I never comment on how they look. I wasn't brought up like that. :smileyvery-happy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 6:54am

I know exactly how you feel. My ex mil would do stuff like that to me all the time. Everyone in her family would actually just make up excuses and say she is just naive when it comes to manners and such !!!! I don' t really have any advice you have to be around them more than during the holidays ?

Malea

Looking to work from home ? Ask me how :

www.askmalea.com

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 7:01pm

Well, I doubt the entire family is going to change, especially if this is "normal" for them.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 2:41pm
I'd say, "In most social circles, it's considered highly rude to comment on someone's weight or appearance like you did. Did you know that?" Then give her that Hmmmm, look.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 1:53pm

Since they apparently do it to everyone,