Lets Talk about this Abandonment Issue
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|Fri, 03-12-2010 - 8:58am|
One poster here pointed out how abandonment issues can harm relationships. I am in one of those relationships. I think he has abandonment issues big time. His dad walked out without a word when he was a young kid. His last gf of 11 years asked him to move out even though they were raising a son together. He has little confidence in me. And he is in constant fear that I am going to leave him.
An example of a conversation with him...
me "some days I love you so much I am overflowing"
Him "what about the other days?"
me "I love and miss you"
him "I hope so"
me flirting "we will make up for lost time tonight"
him "promises promises"
This sort of dialog has become the norm. A day doesnt go by that he is asking me to confirm my love for him and that I am in this relationship to stay.
In addition to this he constantly doubts me. I wake up one night at 3am and check the Celtics score (I am a huge fan) on my iphone NBA Game Time app. He automatically assumes I am texting another man. Then another recent night I cant sleep and get up and read an email from his neice on my iphone. Again he assumes that I dont want to be with him and am reading something from another man. I offer to show him the email to prove it.
I am tired of looking at myself trying to figure out why he doubts me. I have not found a reason for him to do so. I really put an effort into honesty. I want this relationship to work.
How can I help him? How can we get past this and on to a normal relationship?