MVS - Working on Marriages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
MVS - Working on Marriages
2
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:15am
I rarely read anything past the first page of the parade magazine, you know, the celebrity "news", but this week I read the whole thing. Marilyn Vos Savant (the mensa columnist), had someone ask her a question about "working" in relationships, or on relationships or marriages. I was trying to get a copy to post here, but they aren't going to have it on line until 4/26. So let me give you the gist...

This guy writes in and says how he has heard people say that successful marriages need constant work. He wants to know if you marry someone who is "right" for you, and you are "right" for them, why does "work" have to done.

Her answer was that each person in the marriage should have at least these two goals that they are "working" towards. 1) is for you to work towards perfecting yourself and 2) to except your parnter's imperfections. She said, neither goal can be reached because we are imperfect human beings, but if we are "working" on both of these things then we will be more accepting of our partners imperfections. She pointed out, that if you haven't recognized your partners imperfections before getting married, you certainly will see them shortly there after.

I wish I could have reprinted it word for word, because it did make alot of sense.

Pam

Pam

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 3:24pm

Thanks, Pam! You know, I get questions occasionally about Sean's and my relationship, especially over at the Ending an Affair board. I tell people that we're doing pretty well and we're constantly working on our relationship to keep it that way. Man, some people just don't get it! A relationship takes constant reaffirmation, discussion, and work to keep it going! If some of the folks I see over there had worked on their marriages, there would not have been affairs to end in the first place.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 4:22pm
Isn't that the truth. But too many are like the guy who asked the question, including my ex.

I like to call it a labor of love. In fact, I think that is where that term came from.

Pam

PAMELA