So I got re-married to this kind of immature
Hi and welcome to the board.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, I'm curious, you said you're re-married to the guy. What happened the first time around? Has things changed at all for the second time? Also, do you have kids now, or were you seeing how things were prior to kids?
I too would highly suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes, it's easier for the man (or woman) to hear things from a third party and truly want to change. The fact that he's in sales, means he lies pretty easily and probably can put up a front. Trust me, my DH is in sales and is the same way. He fakes his way through life, until life basically slaps him in the face and then he shuts down. Very frustrating (but we don't have kids, so it's a different situation than if we had them).
When did you make the ultimatum for him to man up? And has he done or said anything yet?
I agree with Luarena and Cheryl, that if this is your second try with this guy, marriage counseling is the way to go.
The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
It sounds like from your post you are very frustrated.