My house - our home

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
My house - our home
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 4:29pm

Hi, ladies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 9:29am

I really can't offer any advice, but I am hoping some others will.


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 12:28pm
Just some secure is your DH's job? Is it possible, he could lose his job or even partial income? (You don't have to answer it here, just ask yourself that). In all matters of the home, I would think twice. Mostly because you are putting your home on the line.

Also, what if school takes longer than 2 years? What if classes are hard to get, you have to wait a semester to take a pre-req for another class, which means you push this or that back, etc, etc. Can you go 3 years w/o a job?

And lastly, what if you cant find a job in 2 years? What if the economy hasn't rebounded and you're out of a job and cant find one. Or have to go back to what you were doing prior to school? (I know 4 young people that have graduated recently with masters and doctorates....they all make slightly more than minimum wage because they can't find jobs and while they're doing that, they're deferring their loans).

I just lost my condo because the economy went south and DH lost his job. Not fun and we were one of the lucky ones.

Obvoiusly if all worked out great, then the refi is a great choice. But as we know, there are no guarantees. Do you have plans for those "oh-no's"? Or those setbacks? I think if you two come up with a plan, and discuss the worst case scenario and still feel like you could deal with it, without cutting your budget to basics, then I say go for it. Do the refi with him if you have to. Unless, you don't want to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 1:36pm

I don't mind answering your questions at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 5:37pm

Some random thoughts.........

We were always told that being married is best, because everything defaults to the spouse. But, since my father has passed away, my mom is finding out that having everything joint, has been one big PITA!!! They have literally frozen some of their accounts, until a death certificate is given. Instead of just removing my dad from all her accounts, she basically has to reopen new ones. She's having to wait to get money out of their joint accounts (frozen ones) or other individual accounts (not bank). Then she found out.....had they had separate accounts, she'd just need to be the beneficiary, show up with a death certificate and they'd cut her a check right then and there. Makes you really think twice about doing anything jointly. lol.

I would say that combining finances is a very personal decision. Like I said, DH and I have a joint checking, but because of his spending habits, that is soon going away. I will never have joint credit cards ever again. Would I want my DH on my house loan? I dunno. I mean, if he's basically going to be supporting you for 2 years, then why not? Especially since he has a solid career (meaning layoff is unlikely).

Again, what makes you feel uncomfy? Is it your past r'ship with the ex? Is it because you're having issues becoming 100% dependent on your DH? I think the source of you being unsure.....will answer your question if it's a good idea or not. Also, to a point, it's not like you have to combine anything but the refi....and that he doesnt' even have to be on the house title (I think).

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 12:28pm

Hello Gal!