My partners ex want him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2011
My partners ex want him back
10
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 1:56am

Hi

First I want apologize for my bed written English, I`m from Croatia. I hope you will understand me, and help me with some advice, because I`m in really confuse state of the mind.

I live with my partner for 2 years now and we have a child of 10 months. He has two children with his ex wife. So, this weekend his ex wife move with their kids and a new boyfriend in my partners and she`s all apartment ( she didn't want to sold) and when my partners come for kids she`s ask him is there any chance for them to be together again for the sake of their children. She is pregnant with new boyfriend, but she tell that she will abort. She blackmail my partner all the time, don't give him to see the children etc.

So, my partner tell her that he is move on with his life, and that he wont hurt me.

But, the last 3 or 4 days was hell to me. He is depressed, confused, telling me that his life is crap, and I have a felling that Im on the test. He call me by her name, tell me that he would back to her but are afraid, that they divorce without true reason.And in the other moment he tell that he loves me.And that we will good to me

I am in hurt and don`t know what to think or do. I really want to our relationship last, and I try to have patience and understanding for him, but I don`t if that even have a sense. I have a feeling that I never be good enough, And that I will always try and give, and that he always be not satisfied and in bad mood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 10:36am

Hi there and welcome.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 12:02am
((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))to you!

It sounds like his ex wife was feeling bad because of the boyfriend wanting her to have an abortion---and was seeking support from your BF/her exH. Of course the fact that when she had been pregnant with your BF's children he DIDNT want her to have an abortion makes your BF look better to the exWife now----but she's overlooking (whatever) it was that broke them apart---> that is still there.

And your BF maybe is thinking things would be "better" now, but that is delusional as well----because they wouldnt---.

Dont let yourself feel that you will "never be good enough" for him----you are already much better than you ever know or believe! The more you realize how good and worthwhile you are, the more he will see it as well. (you have to let your light shine :) ).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 3:08pm
Ask him to go to couples therapy with you. This way you can talk out all the issues openly and honestly. She must think new boyfriend is not as good as old. But she had her chance, now is yours. If after therapy, he still wants to leave, walk away and know this was not.any fault of yours. You do not want to stay attached to a man who does not truly want you.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 1:37am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 05-02-2011 - 11:14pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 11:30am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 4:26pm
Looks like his ex is messing with his head and now that she's given him "hope" of getting back together he's second guessing himself! I think if you have a strong, stable relationship things should be ok for your relationship! But if he starts to spend more time there and it's not just to see his kids I might start to worry a bit!

http://thankgodimperfect.blogspot.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2011
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 4:48am

Try and be close to him and understand what he is going thru and try to find a solution together. And yes as they said here before consulting will help Yes I also believe a strong relationship will get him over all the thinking and maybe depressed situation. We all have this time in life when we not sure what to do and we need our partner to talk to us even if we say we don't want to talk..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Sun, 06-12-2011 - 8:16pm

You have your own child to worry about and care for. You can not allow his confusion about his ex make your life a living hell. There is one thing that I have learned in life you can't control other people you can only control yourself. Yes, you love him and want it to work out. But what does he want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Sat, 07-02-2011 - 11:36am

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