My wife invited my ex to my son's birthday party?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2010
My wife invited my ex to my son's birthday party?
9
Mon, 11-22-2010 - 12:23am

Here's the situation, my son's birthday is next Saturday and my wife and I are having a birthday party for him. His mom and her husband are celebrating on the holiday since they have him for the holiday, we get him for his bday.

My wife went ahead and invited his mom (who lives 5 hours away) to the party and I don't think that they're going to come, but they might only because they're having issues (info which I got from my daughter) and if I know my ex, she'll come just to sniff out our situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002

Your wife invited your ex-wife to a party at your home without first running the idea by you?

Does she typically run your (joint) lives single-handedly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wow! My thoughts exactly Laurena. Also, if the OP relinquished having any input and leaving it up to her to make all the plans, then THIS TIME, he doesn't have much ground to stand on. It all seems just too weird, so good questions asked. I know neither DH or I ever make plans without discussing them first. Pam

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005

Hi and welcome to the board.

You know your XW best, is it possible to rescind the invite and tell her you think it's a bad idea? That although your wife meant well, it's just not something you're comfortable with at this time and maybe in the future the invite will be put out there again?

I agree with the others about the wife situation, so definitely think abut that and if you havent, discuss it with her. But since the deed is done and your'e stressing a bit, think about what you can do to keep xw at home (not your home).

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006

Your DW probably meant well, but I am a little suprised she did that without talking to you first?

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008

If you don't think this a good situation to have happen, then don't let it happen.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2010

No she hasn't replied yet. I'm not sure that she really meant to do it. They were talking on

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Ah, okay. If your wife doesn't want to delete your xw on FB, which I can understand, instead, tell her to limit her profile, like not being able to see what friends of friends write on her wall or what she responds to friends, etc. Give her a "limited profile". I think you can still do that. That way, the xw doesn't have access to her life and yours.

If you're okay with dealing with the xw if she comes, then just chalk this up to a learned experience, and hopefully your wife won't invite the ex again (out of the pureness of her heart or otherwise). If you really can't handle it, I'd suggest rescinding the invite.

Lastly, a "sweet, naive, see the good in all people" type of person is a wonderful person, but on the flipside, they also can cause more issues than necessary. I think it'd be good for you to tell your wife to pass things by you prior to your XW so that you can decide if it's best or not.....as you know your xw better and if your wife truly is that type of person, this probably won't be the last time she "invites" your xw to things. Set the standard now, so there won't be miscommunication later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2010

Oh trust me, I think she has got the point by now lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006

This is what I think ... my 2 cents :-) You know - if your ex-wife wants to come and SCOPE out the situation ... well, heck. Give her a good show :-) Hold your new wife's hand and put your arm around her and definitely operate as a unified front together :-) Living well is the best revenge, after all :-) I say ... let the ex snoop. And brag about how WONDERFUL everything is ... and especially BRAG about vacations and places you are going together. tee hee!!! Like a tropical cruise to Mexico. She will be GREEEEEN with envy!!! :-)