Name Change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Name Change?
7
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 11:05am

Just wondering how many of you guys kept your last name or changed it back to your maiden after divorce?

The ironic part of my story is that I never changed my last name. I always thought it was sort of outdated to change your last name and there was no way I was putting both of our names together, it would've been way too long and weird sounding. However, now - it sort of is my only regret w/our marriage b/c I hate that I don't have the same last name as my kids - for that reason, I probably wouldn't have changed it back to maiden name.

There really is no easy solution for this if the kids still automatically get the man's last name, yet as a woman you don't feel you want to take your husband's last name - hmmmm....lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 1:22pm

when I got divorced I kept his last name for a few reasons -- having the same name as my kids (making it easier for their schools and their teachers), not wanting to go through the hassle. At the time, I was also seeing current dh and, while we weren't talking marriage at this point, I knew it was getting serious -- and there was NO way that I wanted to go through TWO name changes in less than 2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 3:17pm

"There really is no easy solution for this if the kids still automatically get the man's last name, yet as a woman you don't feel you want to take your husband's last name - hmmmm....lol."

Is this by state? Because here in CA I know a lot of kids with their Mom's last name, not the Dad's. So obviously, it's not automatic here. Just curious.

Also, for myself. I changed my name to my DH's, then back to my maiden when I got divorced. And back to my now DH's. If we got divorced, I'd prolly change it to one of my grandmother's maiden names and never ever change it again. too much of a hassle.

IMHO, I always tell people, do whatever you feel comfortable with. Because a name IS your identity. It's not necessarily WHO you are, but it is a very big part of you.

 





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 5:01pm
No - it's not mandatory that you give kids father's last name - but we were married & for the most part - it's still pretty standard for kids to get man's last name.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 9:14am

In our house we have three last names.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 2:52pm

The first thing I did when my divorce was final was to change my name. When DH and I married, I actually kept my maiden name as a legal second middle name and added his last name.


We have two surnames in the family, and it isn't confusing in the least. My eldest two have xh's last name. The baby has DH's last name.


In the event that DH and I divorce, I will again change my name back to my maiden name and I will keep that name (even if I remarry).

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 1:04pm

After both divorces, I kept my xH's last name.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
In reply to: ivill_laurel
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 2:31pm
I have heard of women who are with someone who isn't necessarily for marriage change their name to their SO's - so it does happen. I bought my first engagement ring - to some extent. I picked it out & put it on the credit card - but we were living together & he gave me his check every wk, so it wasn't totally the case - lol.