Need Help.....Mistake #2
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|Wed, 04-30-2003 - 2:33pm|
I am beginning to think that I have made a mistake marrying again. Part of me wants this to work but then the other part believes the price is just too high.
I moved 1500 miles to be with my new husband. I took my two daughters away from the family and lives they had every known to start a brand new life.
I feel like my husband is just so selfish. Whenever I voice my opinion he says I am "attacking" him. Or he will rant and say that he "never does anything right". So many of our conversations end up like this. I am cleary NOT perfect and know that NO ONE is but I still believe that two adults should be able to talk things out.
He always tries to put his kids before mine and then gets upset when I say something about it he again says I am attacking him. His son has his own room while my two daughters share- even though his son is only with us 50% of the week- now that we are expecting a child (I know, I know- not a smart move) my husband is resistant to having the baby (a boy) share with his son. We bought this house together, with my down payment and he agreed to add on another bedroom so my daughters can each have their own room too. My daughters have never had to share a room but I compromised because we are blended family. He won't do the same for me.
It's to the point now where I don't even want to go home. All we do is argue. Yesterday he took offense to me feeling insulted about the dinner I made. He had to say how bad it was 3 times, even after I apologized. When I finally said "I get it! How many time do you have to say it?". He ran into our bed room and slammed the door. He said that I talk to him like dirt. Does that sound like dirt to you? I just feel so exasperated and do not understand how to communicate with this man.
I feel sort of trapped. I have mortgage and a new baby with this man. I have no other family or friends here. I don't want to move back home and uproot my children again. At the same time, I don't want to stay in a miserable situation. I fantasize about buying my own smaller house and living peacefully with my children.
How do you communicate with someone that views himself as the "bad guy". I never say this or even imply it. I just want to TALK and have him hear me without him running off to feel sorry for himself.
Thank you so much for the previous advice and for listening to this long complaint.