Newbie here. I'm sure I'll be looking..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Newbie here. I'm sure I'll be looking..
2
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 11:40am
for tons of support & advice as time goes on.

To introduce myself, I separated from my spouse of 7 years last fall. We have one child together who is 3, and we've been splitting custody very successfully. Our situation is that I was the one who wanted out of the marriage, but there is and has always been little arguing or strong emotions between us.

I'm now dating someone (and I know many people will say I'm jumping into this quickly - maybe so - I'm open to opinions). We clicked right from the start and I feel as though I'm dealing with a completely different relationship than I ever had with my spouse. So...I may well be jumping the gun by joining this message board (I'm not able to legally divorce for at least another 6 months) but, I'm hopeful about this relationship, we've discussed marriage, and if I do it again I am COMMITTED to making it work. So I'll do a little research now...

He has 2 kids, 4 & 6 who get along great with my daughter & I. His family is very supportive, as is mine. I think the exes will cause some strife, but I'm up to the challenge.

Anyway, that's me. I'm very interested in finding out how others deal with similar situations, and finding resources so I know what I'm doing this time around.

Thanks,

T~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 9:00pm
Dear T

hello, I to am new here and am in the same situation. I was married for 10 yrs, my ex and I had been together since we were 15 yrs old so I knew him more than 1/2 of my life. My divorce will be final any day now, but I have been seeing someone else for 5 1/2 months (1 month after we filed for divorce). My boyfriend and I actually started dating the week I moved out, we worked together (both truck drivers) and he was there for me every time my ex would call me on the cell phone and give me all kinds of problems. He also had a crush on me for 2-3 months before I ever aknowledged him (not that I didn't think he was a knockout). I have 2 girls ages 4 and 5 and he has a 16 yr old son all get along great. I actually live with my boyfriend (for the last month) and we are definately planning on getting married (he's actually asked me but not given me a ring yet so we haven't told anyone). His family is VERY supportive and keep asking when were gonna get married, I even call his parents mom and dad (I NEVER called my ex's that, I barely talked to them). I know theres a lot of people out there who think its totally wrong to do what were doing but I wanted you to know your not alone, as long as your happy. I know I'm happier than I have been in my whole life, my boyfriend is so great (even when he's being a jerk, he will always apologize and admit he was wrong), And the best part is he will cuddle with me all night, my ex NEVER cuddled, never held my hand or showed me any love it just wasn't there.

Best of luck,

Jennifer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 7:28pm
Jennifer you are not doing anything wrong. Everyone has a different time line and some will say you are moving to fast BUT you could have grieved the lost of the marriage before the actually split occured. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy it everyday.