Newly Engaged but Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Newly Engaged but Confused
1
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 6:40am
Good morning everyone...this might just be me but I just wanted to get others input. I just got engaged Sunday evening :-). Yes, it made me very happy...love this man very very much. But I'm a little confused about something. I am very excited and went to work the next day and told people and called my mom and told her. When I talked to him on the phone (he's a trucker) he told me that a friend had called. He told me what they talked about (the guys kids and their jobs and about what they did on the weekend). Well I asked him did he tell him we got engaged. He said "NO" I did't think it was any of his business. But he wanted me to go up to the Harley Dealer and tell our friends that work there. Well now tell me if this is just me...but if you just got engaged (guy or girl) wouldn't you tell your friends and family. Of course I asked him and he just said, "That's a girl thing". I told him how I felt and then of course he gives me this "I can't do anything right, not even propose" and he apologized for messing up our engagement. So I just told him I would keep my mouth shut and he could tell who he wanted when he wanted. Please tell me if I'm wrong for feeling this way and if guys just don't look at things like we do.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:13am
They have a long way to come, they do. I think your guy is a guy who probably is uncomfortable making "announcements", of any kind. He would probably be the same way about pregnancy announcements, etc., etc. I would not turn it into a big deal. I think my bf would tell his family, but he wouldn't be making announcements at work or anything. Neither would I for that matter. Now, if I was wearing a ring....LOL (see my other post), there would be questions....:-)

What is annoying is men that use those gender based excuses (my bf use to try that). The times have changed, womens' roles have changed, and the men are slow to follow. My BF now, when he knows he did or said something inappropriate, will say "it's because i'm a guy and i know i have to change my attitude towards....(whatever)." The "guy" thing is so deeply ingrained in them, that it takes a very special man to acknowledge that he needs to change and then to do the work to change.

I am going to post something I read this weekend, take look.

Pam

Pam

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.