Oh I need your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Oh I need your help!
5
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 11:11am

I have a long story I will try to keep short and to the point.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker  

 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 11:22am

First, I'd like to say that I'm sorry for the struggles you are having.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:57pm

Yes, I would have to agree.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 7:13pm
I really wish you luck in working things out. I agree w/ the others about counseling. I wonder--did your DH give you specific ideas of what he meant when he said that you were pushing his kids away so you could figure out what he meant and you could understand more where he was coming from? If not, it's kind of difficult for you to change your behavior. I also figure from your post that your kids are very young, if the oldest is 4. I don't know how old his kids are--I just wonder what his expectations were since little kids really need a lot of attention and you never had the experience of having a baby before, where these were his 3rd & 4th kids--I know how nerve wracking it can be taking care of your first baby, not really knowing what to do, then w/ the next one it becomes easier. I just wonder if you were not so much pushing his kids away as spending a lot of time taking care of the little ones and that's how he sees it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 8:29am

I ALSO recommend counseling.....especially because it seems to me that you are taking all of the "blame" here........it takes 2 to make a marriage work....


I just wonder if you were not so much pushing his kids away as spending a lot of time taking care of the little ones and that's how he sees it?


I wonder this, also.....and if all of this worry over "pushing his other kids aside" is more projection on his part and HIS worries re: guilt over not being as much a father to kids of divorce as kids of current marriage......


and counseling can help you sort that out, plus figure what to do now...


The other thing I noticed:

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 12:23pm

I know it is impossible to fit several years into a couple paragraphs, so like everyone else, I would also suggest MC (marriage counseling).

Serenity