I have a long story I will try to keep short and to the point.
First, I'd like to say that I'm sorry for the struggles you are having.
Yes, I would have to agree.
The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
I ALSO recommend counseling.....especially because it seems to me that you are taking all of the "blame" here........it takes 2 to make a marriage work....
I just wonder if you were not so much pushing his kids away as spending a lot of time taking care of the little ones and that's how he sees it?
I wonder this, also.....and if all of this worry over "pushing his other kids aside" is more projection on his part and HIS worries re: guilt over not being as much a father to kids of divorce as kids of current marriage......
and counseling can help you sort that out, plus figure what to do now...
The other thing I noticed:
I know it is impossible to fit several years into a couple paragraphs, so like everyone else, I would also suggest MC (marriage counseling).