Positive news

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Positive news
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 9:28pm

My husband and I this week celebrate 10 years in a very happy second marriage. It's a big milestone for us as both our first marriages ended just short of 10 years so it tips the balance. I thought I'd share what I think has worked to help others along the way.

Quick background: when we married we each had one son from a first marriage that had ended a couple of years previously. His son was almost 9 and mine just five. His son's mother was overseas so not in regular contact. My son's father saw him regularly.

At this point we really feel like a family and have very positive relationships although we both acknowledge that we feel a deeper attachment to our own biological child than to the other and under stress have more tolerance for our own kid. Our boys (now aged 19 and 15) are close and remarkably alike in their ideas and interests, though


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2008
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 7:35am

First I want to say a very big congratulations!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 8:18am
So nice to hear it!

Hope you stick around--welcome!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 8:50am

Congratulations and excellent list.


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 9:57pm

Really great list.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 1:17pm
Thanks for posting!

Me and SO are not married, but have been together 5 years. We each have 3 kids, with our two youngest still in school and living with us.

It was encourging to know that we also try to do pretty much everything you things you listed.

He was M for 20 years, so even if we were married, that milestone won't be happening any time soon, but I do have to say that I did find a bit of comfort at the 5 year mark. Not sure why, because it is not like I will ever know SO for longer than his xW, or vise-versa with me and my xH, but something about felt like we know can say "remember a few years ago when....." A sense of history is now forming.

One little moment for us though, I do have to say is, that his youngest DS was about the age that my DD is now when we met. His DS had sort of a moment of clarity when he looked at my DD who just turned 11 and he realized - "Wow, I was sure young when I met you, Serenity." When you are only 16, 5 years is a large chunk of your life.

Anyways, thanks again for sharing!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 8:12am

LOVE your post!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 9:29am


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 2:31pm
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 6:26pm

I totally agree! The information in that list really could be turned into a great seminar for second marriage and couples blending families. It contains very practical, workable advice.

And to the OP, congrats on 10 years! I'm at 4.5 years in a happy marriage, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 10:36am

Thanks for popping in, Christine.