reason

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2008
reason
6
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 2:03am

How do you reason with a man who thinks he is always right and pouts like a kid when you say the least thing he doesn't like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
In reply to: seawritr
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 4:24pm

I don't think he'll change at his age. In my mind everyone has flaws, but I think a couple should be content and getting along at least

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: seawritr
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 9:08pm

I know these types of people and there is no reasoning with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
In reply to: seawritr
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 11:46am

Hi and welcome to our board.

Unfortunately, everyone else is right. You can't reason with a person like him, he'll never understand your rational mind and how it works. Mostly because he's being irrational. There's probably a very good reason why he's been married 3x, and sadly, it probably has to do with his attitude.

You didn't say if this is a friend, SO, husband, etc.

If it's a friend, well you have the choice to put up with it and remain friends and know that this is how he is and accept it, or you can choose to not be around him as much, etc.

If he's a SO, then you can ask him to seek therapy (with or without you) and hope he may see that it's time for an overhaul. If that doesn't work, well, you have the choices above as the friend...accept this man as he is and learn to deal with it, or walk away.

If he's a DH, that's a little more complicated. I'd probably ask why you'd marry a man like that if you dislike his personality. Was it present before? Of course, you have the same options as an SO, but it can be more difficult to choose to divorce.

I have been around men like this and honestly, they can be nice men, great men....as long as you don't piss them off in any way. Once you do, it's game over. Time for you to make nicey nice so you can get along once again. I've lived this with my volatile brother. You walk on eggshells all your life. And trust me, no r'ship is worth it to me, to be involved, or be friends with someone like that. At 69, I'm sad that this man is still like that. I doubt he'll change.

Sorry, I wish I had a better answer. But unfortunately, there is rarely reasoning with people like him.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: seawritr
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 4:45pm

I wonder how long have you been with him and why is it an issue now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
In reply to: seawritr
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 6:53pm

I have a friend who married a man like this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
In reply to: seawritr
Tue, 12-07-2010 - 9:01am
There is term for the way he deals with conflict and it's called stonewalling. It's probably how he learned to deal with uncomfortable things his whole life and believe me, on the outside of a relationship it looks like the "he avoids conflict" type of guy. So, for a certain amount of time, he will take all the jokes and stuff and then it explodes and he just closes up and won't talk. BTDT, divorced a man like that. Pam

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.