Second marriage and money
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|Wed, 08-01-2012 - 10:32am|
I feel that my df and I are not on the same page as far as our values about money and I'm really needing some advice. He is extremely wealthy and quite generous when it comes to vacations or things for me like jewelry or clothing.
However, I have noticed that he is very concerned about how much my ex will pay for my kids college, cars, etc. I work and have a great income, but it is nothing compared to his. He has mentioned that "his kids" will have many opportunities presented in the future and wanted to make sure that I wouldn't be upset if he doesn't pay for my kids to have the same opportunities. (He expects their father to pay for college etc, but that is one of the reasons we got divorced=poor money decisions.) Needless to say, I will probably be paying for the majority of my kids education.
Recently, we discussed an IRS bill that I have from my previous marriage. He is aware that this was my ex's bill and that it has caused me MAJOR stress and anxiety. I have a payment arrangement with them, but would like to pay it off since we are getting married and I have a lien on my property due to the IRS. He did offer to pay it off for me but told me I will have to pay him every month and he doesnt want to hear me "whine" about paying him after we are married.
The more I think about it, it doesnt feel like a marriage to me. It feels like a business deal. I've said this to him and he thinks that I exaggerate and can't understand why I feel this way. I am not marrying him for his money, but my feeling is that I may be worse off financially since he will expect me to pay for more expenses than I pay now!
Does this make sense? Sorry, I'm rambling.
Anyway, any advice is greatly appreciated.