Step parenting and being OVERWHELMED

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011
Step parenting and being OVERWHELMED
4
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 4:06pm
Ok I am new to this board so I will give a little background info, I am remarried for 5 years now we have 6 kids my 3 g15 b 13 b 10 ours g4 g2 and his b9 . We have had some basics problems nothing to major and are mostly ablest resolve our issues how ever this is one area that I really can't talent him about and am in need of advice or just a little feedback. I have been a stay at home mom since being married to my husband and I love it! His son who visits us twice a year from out of town is autistic. He has gotten much more controllable over the years and is basically just alot like having another four year old. My problem is this inam the primary caregiver to him as I am to all the kids, his dad sees him a little after work and on weekends. I do everything for this child lay out clothiers bath him feed him etc, it is very challenging because I have so many I get a little overwhelmed. My two boys will be with their biodad for the next two weeks and it will be just me and my girls because he has spent his month with us and is do to go home this weekend. But now that's my husband has found out the boys are staying a little extra with their dad he wants his son to stay here. I almost cried it isn't at all that I don't want him here it is really the fact that i really was looking forward to a break! I feel lime this makes me a bad person because deep inside I really want him to go home I mean if Dad was doing all the caregiving or was even going to take some time off it would be different but he isn't it is just adding on to my workload. I am really struggling with this does this make me a bad person?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 4:09pm
Sorry for the typos gotta love autospell correct!
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 5:54pm

Welcome to the board!

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 5:59pm
Thanks Serenity I am going to say something, I have to I just wondered what others thought about it I sure hope he feels the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 9:24am
sigh.....yes, I agree with Serenity---in no way does this make you a bad person---------I hope he can see also that you just were looking for a BREAK-------------plus, special one on one time with your girls.............

......I would start the discussion with how much you were lookking forward to this time of having more time with girls...........and you didnt really realize how MUCH you were looking forward to this------until now plans are being discussed as changing...........................(and, yes, .....say something ASAP----before he tells child's mom that child can stay and SHE gets her heart set on extra time off----then you would become double villian!)

And there is ABSOLUTEY NOTHING WRONG with asking him to take time off of work to be with/take care of son if son DOES stay some extra-----son is there to see his DAD-----what benefit is there of dad being gone to work?---------stand firm in that one-----it makes perfect sense.

Keep us posted---BEST WISHES!!