Stepdog with Attachment Disorder

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Stepdog with Attachment Disorder
9
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 2:37pm

So after six weeks, the stepdog finally has returned to his mommy - my DH's ex-W and I am soooo happy.

I had agreed to take on the pooch for a week while his wife went for surgery in early July. Well lo and behold, she felt too weak to take doggie back so I became the stepmom to DSD. At first it wasn't so bad - my DH would walk him and I would feed him repulsive doggy food once a day and DH would handle the other feeding. Then DH got busy at work as did I - but he works outside the house--I work at home. So the dog would sit literally underneath my feet while I worked every day.

Two weeks ago, my grandson - a one-year old came for an extended visit. DSD was jealous - growling at the baby, jumping on me when I diapered him, humping me when I would read to my grandson, standing near me constantly. DH was thrilled that stepdog and I had "bonded" but the more clingy the dog got, the more angry I got. His ex-W - frail damsel that she is - a month after surgery - was afraid the doggy would get under HER feet so she refused to take him back.

Well, this week I'm traveling for business, so I spoke to my stepdaughter and told her to tell her mom the dog has to go home. I knew if I left it to DH the message would not get delivered. Since I wouldn't be there (for doggie to torture) and he can't be left home alone for hours at a time while my husband works, there was no choice - bio mom had to take him back. Last night my stepdaughter took the dog home.

For the first time in six weeks, there was no dog watching me undress at night, no dog making his bed next to our bed, no dog laying on the bathroom floor, eying me while I peed, no dog following me upstairs, downstairs, crying at the door when I ran across the street, or laying under my feet while I worked. My husband was sad - he loves the dog - and I guess was hoping I would take him on permanently. But I have never felt such an albatross being lifted before - amazing!

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 6:03pm

Oh that is right, the four legged

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 6:31pm
When I was dating my 2nd DH he had a dog but he gave it away to a family because he was working all day then over my house a lot. I never asked him to do that. So I'm sure he missed the dog. So after we got married, he was out of work because he hurt himself & he wanted a dog. We rescued one from the shelter and I knew all the time that I just didn't want a dog. She was a German shepherd mix. The thing is that her previous owner was a woman so she was always following me around & sitting next to me on the floor and didn't pay much attention to DH who was the one who wanted the dog. The one thing I put my foot down for was that the dog couldn't sleep in our room--he already had a cat that slept on the foot of the bed and I knew I couldn't change that since she had done it her whole life, but I didn't need a dog heavy breathing in there too when there was plenty of room downstairs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 8:54am

LOL, As with children, I have only respect for people who realize beforehand that they are not good caretakers and choose not to take on the task.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 12:23pm

I totally agree with you Pam.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 12:57pm

Good for you Serenity.

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 2:50pm

OMG, Pam, your dog sounds like my husband and his ex's dog. He followed me EVERYWHERE! And me being new to the whole dog thing, it totally freaked me out.

I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to wake up in the morning without the dog snoring by our bed. To go to the bathroom without company (REALLY! This was just OVER THE TOP!) To go downstairs without the dog racing me down the steps and nearly tripping me! To eat without him standing next to me eying the food from plate to mouth until I thought I'd scream. Hunched at my feet, growling at me when I read books and played with my baby grandson.

I am SO HAPPY the dog is gone (and my poor husband misses him like mad).

Yes, I know my limitations. A week visit with the dog is tolerable. A six-week visit is definitely overkill. And a six-week visit when my grandson is visiting is out of the question.

It's nice to know I'm not a brute or something.

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 2:56pm

Just as there are people who prefer not to have children, because fundamentally they do not like or enjoy being around children, there are those that prefer not to be around animals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 9:00am

Exactly!

The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 5:13pm

I feel for both the OP and the dog.