Thinking ahead with hesitations

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Thinking ahead with hesitations
11
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 11:52am

For more than a year and a half,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 8:25pm

Dabby, because you don't know what you want, I would suggest you start by having a general conversation about marriage with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 10:20am

I agree that having a generaly discussion would be a good start--I think most people have some idea whether they'd like to get married again or are against it, and that those things can change after they meet someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2011
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 11:30pm

It is perfectly natural that you should have a conversation with him about where the relationship is headed.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 1:06pm

I don't think it is too soon to be wondering about these things.

Serenity
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 12:44pm
So you are not sure if you want to get married again? What are the reasons of not wanting to marry besides him wanting you just for you health benefits?
You are impatient about him stating his intentions about you two's long term future? What do YOU want? Live together for six months to see if you want to get married or not?

Then as others said here, why not just bring that up? Have a conversation about it. If you have been together long enough to consider marriage then I would hope you two are able to talk about such things openly and frankly.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 9:42pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 10:01pm
musiclover12 wrote: And I can totally understand how you feel about you working & him being retired.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 10:22pm
Chia2011 wrote:

It is perfectly natural that you should have a conversation with him about where the relationship is headed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 10:38pm
serenity1986 wrote:
You don't have to follow what society says a M should be,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 10:56pm
mhash wrote:
So you are not sure if you want to get married again? What are the reasons of not wanting to marry besides him wanting you just for you health benefits?
You are impatient about him stating his intentions about you two's long term future? What do YOU want? Live together for six months to see if you want to get married or not?

Then as others said here, why not just bring that up? Have a conversation about it. If you have been together long enough to consider marriage then I would hope you two are able to talk about such things openly and frankly.

Mark

As I explained in a couple of other messages, my main reason for not wanting to marry is that I am not sure that we are at the same stages in our lives. He is looking at retirement; I have a while before I get there.

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