UPDATE: I walked out on them

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2009
UPDATE: I walked out on them
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 7:18am

After finding my husband passed out on the couch in the wee hours after binge drinking or whatever with DSS last night ("I'm sorrry" he pleaded before he went back under) - and after one more disrespectful interaction with DSS where he made a big stink because I ate 3 hamburgers and he could only find two left in the fridge--and he barely stopped short of calling me "FATSO" in front of a house full of company, and after finding a pool of urine on the toilet seat that the boy apparently has never been taught to pick up before he pees, I packed my bags and drove to our other apartment.

The ultimatum will come when my husband wakes up and finds my wedding and engagement ring on the counter and realizes that I'm gone. It will be:

A - I'm staying in the other home when stepson comes for an overnight (we have 2 homes and I refuse to be abused by the boy).

B - My husband will relinquish his marijuana to me and I will destroy it along with all his paraphanalia.

C - My husband will never ever touch another drop of alcohol - no beer, no wine - NOTHING - ever again.

If he can't adhere to those conditions, I'm going to go back to my parent's home halfway across the country and I'll have him move my stuff back somewhere when I get settled. No pissing contests. No "I'm sorry's." My way or the highway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 8:47am


Sounds like he's got alot of issues...................can explain some of son's issues as well (although not justifying you needing to live with the poor situation)....


I'm so sorry.......

...........(((((((((((((((((more hugs!)...............

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 9:08pm

well good for you. sometimes you need to leave a situation and get some breathing room. I do hope you find Al-Anon meetings or Codependency Meetings. I went for 4 years when i was married to an alcoholic/drug addict.

For me, the meetings did so much more than help with my marriage (which btw, ended in divorce)... it helped me with every relationship in my life... from work to the children etc. I learned about having healthy boundaries, learned how to get to my center, and learned how to reclaim my life.

Hugs to you.

there is no easy answer. It is a journey. Keep moving forward.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 5:53pm
hey girl :-) good for you. You cannot continue to live that way. I am sorry you are going through this. I have been through it too, with an alcohol-abuser :-( It's still hard for me to be alone - but better without an alcoholic living with me. You know? It's a process, but you will get strong. Good work!