We broke up

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
We broke up
14
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 10:30am

Hi all,

I know its been a while... I thought i would post a courtesy update. We broke up.

I really didn't like just "living together" and he just wasn't up for buying the ring. I began to think it was just a manipulation ploy and that he was never going to buy it. It was just excuse after excuse and frankly, things weren't that good between us.

So i finally, stood my ground and asked him to move out. At first i thought we could go back to just dating but now i realize i just need some time to myself. I want to reorganize my life. Focus on me.

I am much happier since he left. I feel free and joyful once again. I'm confident that the best is yet to come. I am growing everyday.

thanks for all the support on this board. I might pop in every now and then to see how everyone is doing life.

Love,

Loonybunny

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 11:29am

I am so sorry bunny, but good for you for knowing yourself and what you want out of life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 11:47am

It's too bad things didn't work out, but it's good that you recognized that he wasn't the one for you and stood your ground.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 12:11pm

thanks. And to be sure, It was much more than just the ring. He wasn't measuring up... as someone put it, it was a "sinking ship". And since i felt that way, i couldn't live with him any longer. He ultimately did not understand where i was coming from.... my values weren't his values. He might have said he wanted to marry me, but i think he was really content to just live together forever. And that was never my plan!

So yes, the fact that i feel soooo much better about life without him in it... is a sure sign that i made the right move.

Here's to bigger and better.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 1:07pm

LB,

I only drop in here once every few weeks now to see what's up (and man, it's changed alot rather quickly).

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 1:40pm
---yes, the fact that i feel soooo much better about life without him in it... is a sure sign that i made the right move.

Here's to bigger and better.---


DITTO.

I'm sorry things werent what you had hoped for---but, ...most definitely YES--I'm glad you realized what was best for you and yours and made decision based on that.

And...YES! Keep in touch and keep us updated !

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 3:12pm

I have not been on this message board for months.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 3:35pm
Loony, sorry to hear your news, but glad you are OK with it. Better now then later. Sometimes even two great people do not always make a good couple. No one has to be right or wrong and everyone has to decide for themselves what they can, or cannot, live with. Hugs...
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 4:43pm
Thanks Mark,

it came to light that he was "faking" it. He was putting his best foot forward (for who knows what reasons) but it was a lie.

He stopped attending church. If i didn't throw a fit, he blew it off. As for the children... well, yes, he did very well motivating them to keep up with school work... but come to find out, he was sleeping when he was suppose to be watching them. I think, again, it was a front.... and he could only keep up the act for so long.

I feel he decieved me about what his values were... and after giving him plenty of grace to show me the kind of man he was, he let me down... He admitted that his life was miserable without me. And i told him, then that means he needs to work on himself. But he insisted that it was my responsibility to provide him happiness. Oh no! Not going to go there again. I began to realize how fractured he is and i'm not the one who can save him. Does that make sense....

So much was going on... and I needed to face the truth.
thanks for asking,
Loonybunny
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Wed, 05-11-2011 - 6:42pm

LB,

I don't know if you saw my other posts about my SO proposing and presenting me with a ring (that I'm still not ready to wear)...but, I was thinking about you then and wondering how you were (and what the status of your ring was...), now I know...

You sound like you are in a good place with it all and that is what's important...Keep doing what you're doing for you...(and your kids)...TIme always helps (that's for sure)....

Hope to see you again from time to time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 10:44am

Mark - Hi!

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


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