we broke up ...
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|Wed, 04-07-2010 - 5:23pm|
OK - so this isn't actually related to a 2nd marriage - because we didn't actually ever get married - but we were dating for a while (under a year), and talking marriage - and we've now broken up. And ... I think I really hurt his feelings :-( I think he's very sad - and that makes me cry :-(
I don't want to HURT him - but I just don't want to marry him, either. I HATE hurting people. HATE IT. So now I just feel like a big jerk - but I was overwhelmed with the relationship!
It's just so much, with the kids and everything, and the ex-wife and ALL of it! And he's amazing and wonderful, sweetest guy I've ever dated. But ... it's just all too much :-( And my emotions are so conflicting, but I know ultimately - it's just too much and I'd end up resentful because of all of the demands. Maybe I'm just a big, callous, selfish jerk.
I do feel very selfish right now. Those kids need a good stepmom :-( I'm just not in a good place to BE that to them right now. Guilt, guilt, guilt :-( I just can see I was starting to be "touchy" with him. Agitated, irritated - and I was just overwhelmed. And I think he wants to be with someone VERY low-maintenance - he's got enough to deal with, with his ex-wife and the kiddos.
I feel like a jerk. Do you think he'll still be my friend and let me see the kids every once in a while? Maybe meet them at the park or come out and play somehow???