Which Book Title Appeals to You

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Which Book Title Appeals to You
5
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:49am


Which Book Title Appeals to You





  • My Daddy Says - How THEIR Kids Can Make or Break YOUR Second Marriage

  • Remarried... With Children - Are You Really Ready for An Instant Family?

  • Love Me, Love My Kids - What to Do When Your Dream Relationship Shows Up w/Kids

  • Step Right This Way - Strengthen Your Second Marriage Through Your Stepchildren

  • I Do... Again - Avoiding the Pitfalls of a Second Marriage with Kids



You will be able to change your vote.



All the best from Toronto,
Russ
Love That Feeling
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:00pm

Just curious.....does your book only deal with if your partner having kids? (that's what the titles sound like........)



(versus you having kids and figuring out your partner's role there?.....eg. see "major disagreement " thread currently running here..........



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:13am

My personal experience is that I had no kids from my first marriage of 23 years. My current wife had two kids (from two separate relationships) so I have two Ex's to deal with.

Although I will be writing MOSTLY from this position (my personal experience), I will also be including something from my wife's perspective. As you might guess, her favorite title is, "Love Me, Love My Kids..." Her greatest fear of leaving her last partner was being an unwanted, late-30's woman with two young girls.

Funny that she would feel this way because she is stunningly gorgeous, and her two daughters (my wonderful step-daughters) are a delight! But such is the power of abusive relationships. They can make even the best partner look and feel like crap! I will do my best to cover this aspect in the book.

All the best from Toronto,

Russ

Love That Feeling
All the best from Toronto,
Russ
Love That Feeling
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:15pm

Her greatest fear of leaving her last partner was being an unwanted, late-30's woman with two young girls.



I had similar feelings, that a guy wasnt going to want to date some woman with a couple of teenaged boys.......but then I found that really wasnt the case.



For me, I know the "love me/love my kids" is most definitely true....if I was in a relationship with someone that I thought was causing strife with my kids, or setting up more strife between me and my kids, I would end that relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 10:43am

I vote for "Love Me, Love my Kids" ...

with regards to the content of the book - may I ask ... in terms of priorities - where do the KIDS come in a second (or third, fourth, fifth ...) marriage?

Many of my friends have said that ... no matter what it is God first, spouse second and then kids.

In my last relationship (which is now broken off) he would tell me that his Kids would always be around, whereas I may or may not be around (if I chose to leave) - so he definitely put his kids BEFORE the spouse/girlfriend/new wife ...

And I really had a problem with that.

I think he was parenting a LOT from guilt (affection wars with the other house). I guess, the relationship with him was just not for me. Which makes me sad because there were so many things I really liked about him ... but if it came between making ME happy or making the KIDS happy - it was DEFINITELY the KIDS! You know?

And I want to be with a guy who enjoys seeing me smile and light up. I did not put ANY other relationship before him - so I expected that in return, and it was troublesome to come later on his list. I really went out of my WAY for him - so it hurt when he didn't do the same for me :-(

In my first marriage, my ex (though he turned into a bad alcoholic) wanted to do things for me, buy me a house, provide for me. See me smile :-) And when he made me happy - it made him happy. But I think my ex-boyfriend - he was almost oblivious to how I was feeling, he was so busy pleasing the kids :-(

Bah :-( It just stinks. I'm just looking for a guy who really CARES about my feelings - or even just NOTICES them - and wants to make things RIGHT. It seemed like if I wasn't happy - then it was my problem.

I guess the one thing I could say is that - he was always "What you see is what you get." And that's the truth. At least he wasn't faking that I'd be important to him - because I clearly WASN'T!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 3:13pm

Hi C_D

Thanks for your comment. Without getting too deep into spirituality, religion or semantics, let's just say that if you get #1 right, everything else falls into place. I'll leave it up to the reader how to define #1.

The book is nearing completion. I'm targeting September 30 which might be a bit ambitious, even for a last-minute deadline rusher like myself. :) However, I would love to invite everyone reading this thread to have a free copy in exchange for your honest feedback. I will be writing follow-up books based on your comments and questions.

If you are interested in reviewing a copy, please let me know.

All the best from Toronto,
Russ

All the best from Toronto,

Russ

Love That Feeling
All the best from Toronto,
Russ
Love That Feeling