So my BF and I are now living together.
People have their own opinions on this topic.
Don't you think that even if you kept separate bank accounts that if you were married, somehow you would feel more resentment towards his "overpaying" for his kids because you would look at it like "we're married so it should be OUR money?"
I am not engaged at the moment.
This friend is a enemy.
Depends what day you ask me what answer you'll get from me.
My BF and his ex have a pretty decent set up and rather friendly cooperation when it comes to dealing with time, energy and money spent on their kids.
It's really your own perspective and choice. it's great to hear that your BF is open to it. That kinda says a lot from a guy's perspective.
It sounds like you went through a lot regarding your divorce. That can be enough to intimidate you the 2nd time around. Well, if you're both happy with it, then by all means, it is your choice. Yes, it does make a public statement to the rest of the world about your commitment to each other.
I was married before, and my wife passed away 9 years ago and left 3 young children. It took me 7 years to decide that I wanted to get married again, and I am now engaged. During that time, I had the same concerns and thoughts you did.