Why Marry?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Why Marry?
15
Sun, 05-08-2011 - 9:37am

So my BF and I are now living together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2007
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 12:58pm

Here, here CD.

Pamela


The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.


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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 2:53am

And the other side of the coin.

chaika

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:03am

From a website citing the legal advantages of marriage,

Medical Benefits
  • Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
  • Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.
Death Benefits
  • Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
  • Making burial or other final arrangements.



Tax Benefits
  • Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities.
  • Creating a "family partnership" under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.
Estate Planning Benefits
  • Inheriting a share of your spouse's estate.
  • Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
  • Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
  • Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse -- that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse's behalf.

There are others (click on LINK for the rest) but I thought the above might be more relevant for your consideration.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 11:38am
(((((I don't even understand the point of marriage.)))))

For some it is a spiritual thing and an important part of what they feel God wants man and woman to do. All the material things we have been talking about are secondary.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 8:50am

I am definitely in the DON'T GET MARRIED camp!!! And if you're going to get married again - at least don't take his last name!!!! That was the worst part for me. Having to walk around with his last name. HATED IT! And years later, I still get MAIL with that last name attached to mine! It's awful. I'm hoping our culture will change so that women don't feel they need to take his last name on the 1st marriage in the future!!! Hopefully our daughters will learn from our mistakes!

The last guy I dated said that IF we were to get married (which I barely was considering!!!) that he would want a pre-nuptual agreement. So HOW MUCH SENSE does THAT MAKE??? We pay a lawyer to draw up this legal pre-nuptual document, pay the U.S. Government to get married, then pay AGAIN to untangle the whole mess with a divorce!!! It is madness. I don't even understand the point of marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2011
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 8:16pm

It's really your own perspective and choice. it's great to hear that your BF is open to it. That kinda says a lot from a guy's perspective.

It sounds like you went through a lot regarding your divorce. That can be enough to intimidate you the 2nd time around. Well, if you're both happy with it, then by all means, it is your choice. Yes, it does make a public statement to the rest of the world about your commitment to each other.

I was married before, and my wife passed away 9 years ago and left 3 young children. It took me 7 years to decide that I wanted to get married again, and I am now engaged. During that time, I had the same concerns and thoughts you did.

"What happens when a Widowed Dad raises 3 young children and runs a business at the same time?" visit http://bit.ly/WinYourFreedom
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 8:23am
I am equally ambivalent! Now that we're combining family & resources, there's a part of me that wants the benefits of the institution of marriage and the promise of the deeper commitment.

But there's another part of me that just wonders why? Why not leave the door easier to open?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 8:18am

My BF and his ex have a pretty decent set up and rather friendly cooperation when it comes to dealing with time, energy and money spent on their kids.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 5:32pm

Depends what day you ask me what answer you'll get from me.

Serenity
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 4:15pm

This friend is a enemy.

chaika

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