So my BF and I are now living together.
Here, here CD.
The choices we make in thought word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
And the other side of the coin.
From a website citing the legal advantages of marriage,
There are others (click on LINK for the rest) but I thought the above might be more relevant for your consideration.
I am definitely in the DON'T GET MARRIED camp!!! And if you're going to get married again - at least don't take his last name!!!! That was the worst part for me. Having to walk around with his last name. HATED IT! And years later, I still get MAIL with that last name attached to mine! It's awful. I'm hoping our culture will change so that women don't feel they need to take his last name on the 1st marriage in the future!!! Hopefully our daughters will learn from our mistakes!
The last guy I dated said that IF we were to get married (which I barely was considering!!!) that he would want a pre-nuptual agreement. So HOW MUCH SENSE does THAT MAKE??? We pay a lawyer to draw up this legal pre-nuptual document, pay the U.S. Government to get married, then pay AGAIN to untangle the whole mess with a divorce!!! It is madness. I don't even understand the point of marriage.
It's really your own perspective and choice. it's great to hear that your BF is open to it. That kinda says a lot from a guy's perspective.
It sounds like you went through a lot regarding your divorce. That can be enough to intimidate you the 2nd time around. Well, if you're both happy with it, then by all means, it is your choice. Yes, it does make a public statement to the rest of the world about your commitment to each other.
I was married before, and my wife passed away 9 years ago and left 3 young children. It took me 7 years to decide that I wanted to get married again, and I am now engaged. During that time, I had the same concerns and thoughts you did.
My BF and his ex have a pretty decent set up and rather friendly cooperation when it comes to dealing with time, energy and money spent on their kids.
Depends what day you ask me what answer you'll get from me.
This friend is a enemy.