Widowed and considering marriage again

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Widowed and considering marriage again
12
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:02pm

I was married almost 25 years to a great man, he passed suddenly from an unkown

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:48pm

Hi Chalee,


Yes, it would be sad to walk away from such a great guy because of "just" that one aspect....yet, on the other hand, you're not ready to "give up" that aspect of a relationship for the rest of your life....and that is kind of what you're looking at if things stay status quo....


Two questions:


1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 3:17pm

Thank you for your response:


1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 3:51pm

Hi chalee,


I dont know much about "natural" ED remedies for men (although if I opened all those spam emails that arrived in my "junk email" box I might...LOL! hah!

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 4:40pm

I think it is important, also, to look at the difference between affection and the big "o".

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 6:57pm

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm not just "missing" that part of the relationship with my husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:28pm

Today

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:28pm

Not everyone here is M, so I do hope you stick around.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:38pm

Cool...


He told me that

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 9:26am

Not sure how well juicy juice cherry would work, but I was told by my dr to get unsweetened cherry juice from health food store. It's a concentrate, add water to make pitcher. I drank the one bottle then stopped not really liking the flavor. You might want to have him try that.


As for Gout and RA being related, they are both auto-immune dieases. Most common for people with auto-immune dieseses it that they usually have more than one. You are also not to be drinking while on most RA meds, especially methotrexate. Methortrexate can badly effect the liver as does drinking. Bad combo. That is one reason he goes for monthly blood tests, to check to see if his liver has been effects.


I can also tell you that RA meds do affect ones sex drive. I have been on RA meds for 9 yrs. There are other ways to be intimate with your partener other than intercourse. You may want to talk to him of other ways he can make you feel sexy and wanted.


Wish you luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 3:09pm

Hi and welcome.

I am seeing a few problems here. One of the biggest is that you obviously want a fulfilled sex life. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, however, you may not get that with this guy. Is it worth it? OR (second problem) are you just trying to "fix it". You yourself said you're a fix it person. And those types of people tend to stay with men who need fixing, when it's really not worth their time nor effort.

I am in no way saying this man isn't a good man, but IMHO, I personally would go look for someone who's 1. a bit more healthier, and 2. more sexually compatible. I know being sexually compatible isn't always possible, and there are many people who marry thinking things will change, get better, or "it'll fix itself", but let's be real, it doesn't.

I would think about the type of life you are willing to lead. For this great guy, are you willing to give up your non-vanilla exciting sex life? Do you only feel loved/sexy from sex? Is he able and willing to please you in a different way besides actual intercourse? There's a lot he can do. Just think toys. ;) If he's not willing, can YOU live with that? Are you willing to live again with a man who may have medical issues. That he may get bad fast? That he may not be able to do the things he can now....in 5 years?

It is OKAY if you decide you want someone more sexually compatible and more healthy. I hope you know that. Don't feel guilty and stay and try to fix him...if you're not happy now, who's to say anything will change later?

 





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