I've been dating a widower for more than a year.
I was reading through your thread and a few thoughts came to me.
YOu wrote, "I can handle being "convenient companion," if I know that is all there is.
First, I am married to a former widower.
well i can't say weather or not he "love you"
what i can say is being a widow 4yrs now, holidays are like death to me, i am remarried and we had a girl together -totally 4 kids-
i try really hard to put my best face forward but even thinking about holiday's puts tears to the fore-front
he tells you that he doesn't take her clothes out because he's lazy -that maybe true on some leval but cleaning out your spouse stuff is well extremly hard everytime you look at his stuff you relive everything you went through, all good times, bad times, the death, and the heartache of never having another "time" again.
i've always believed in just being honest- when i started dating even before the first date i was upfront and honest about me being a widower, having 3 kids with speical needs,