Widower Problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Widower Problems
29
Tue, 02-15-2011 - 4:42pm

I've been dating a widower for more than a year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 2:10pm

I was reading through your thread and a few thoughts came to me.

YOu wrote, "I can handle being "convenient companion," if I know that is all there is.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 6:33pm
Wonderful words of wisdom! I hope Debela logs back in and gets to read your post.
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2010
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 12:51pm

First, I am married to a former widower.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 10:15pm
--The problem with talking to my SO is that he doesn't have a lot to say and I run out of things to tell him that could possibly interest him. I know he is calling because he is lonely. (At least three nights a week he is in a hotel in a strange city.) And I have suggested activities that will help him be less lonely.---

Well...on the "plus" side---at least he's not cruising the hotel lounge looking for companionship-----!


-----"I know that if I were lonely and needing to connect with someone, I would be very sad if they couldn't give me an hour of their time."------

However, this brings us to the downside-------this sounds like it's becoming *work* for you almost! ??! Plus--as long as he can spend most of the night talking with you, he wont be looking for other ways to handle this----??
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 5:46pm
Oh yes...the empty house! Ahhh...it is rare for me these days and I do love to putter. Now that I can see as being tough one.

I am work, so I need to get off of here, but wanted to acknowledge your post.

One quick tid bit would be remember that "I am unavailable" is all we need to say. Being busing, or tied up, can mean anything we want it to mean.

I look forward to your updates..
Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 1:57pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 1:48pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 1:38pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 1:07pm

Serenity,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 2:52pm

well i can't say weather or not he "love you"

what i can say is being a widow 4yrs now, holidays are like death to me, i am remarried and we had a girl together -totally 4 kids-

i try really hard to put my best face forward but even thinking about holiday's puts tears to the fore-front

he tells you that he doesn't take her clothes out because he's lazy -that maybe true on some leval but cleaning out your spouse stuff is well extremly hard everytime you look at his stuff you relive everything you went through, all good times, bad times, the death, and the heartache of never having another "time" again.

i've always believed in just being honest- when i started dating even before the first date i was upfront and honest about me being a widower, having 3 kids with speical needs,

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