"You shouldnt marry anyone you have to..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
"You shouldnt marry anyone you have to..
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:37am

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 2:34pm

I was honestly thinking about this very deeply this morning. Because relationships COMPLICATE things, you know? Life gets COMPLICATED - and to be honest - sometimes I think I need a "challenging" relationship to keep me interested. I need to be in a relationship that STRETCHES me. You know?

I think the key for me is that life doesn't need to be "easier" but it does need to be better, more interesting and more exciting :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 8:27pm

"my life is easier with him in it on a full time basis"

amen. I am so happy for you!

I know what you mean. Easier in that the two of you lift each other up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 8:23pm

If all I had

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 12:48pm


The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 11:44am

I have to agree. However, here's some other questions to ponder on (not for the OP per se, but for everyone to think about).

Why did you STAY in a r'ship that was so difficult? What made you WANT a man like that? Or a r'ship like that? Typically, it's us either settling for less, being insecure and taking what we can or more. Just stuff to chew on.

Another thing to chew on.....what if the r'ship is too easy? i.e. the SO basically does whatever you want, is a total doormat, etc? I've seen that with men I've been with, and even within my own DH. Oh, it's easy, as long as I don't care about being selfish and taking all that I want. Think about that.....

But alas. I don't think r'ships should be extra hard work.....ASSUMING you have and the SO, have already done your "personal work". If you haven't, you may have to do that with him (like Pam and her DH did). I think r'ships are "easy" only when two healthy adults finally come together. And IMHO, that's what makes it easy.


Hosted by imgur.com