In-law struggles...

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
In-law struggles...
3
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 5:29pm

I have an xMIL that still occasionally gets under my skin.  After some time has gone by, and I have done a lot of personal work around it all, things are 100 times better than they used to be.  But, once in a while......ugh!

Although it is unfortunate that my SO was raised without parents, and he only has one living immediate relative, I have to say that not having a new set of in-laws does ellimate a lot of potential issues.  

Any stories, good, bad or indifferent you would like to share?  Current in-laws, ex-inlaws, or what have you.  Any advice to pass on to lurkers you may need help but uncomforable posting?  

 

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 7:16pm

I didn't have any parent-in-law with my 2nd marriage since both of them died young (like in their 40's).  I did like the siblings and wished I could have seen them more but my 2nd ex wasn't that family oriented.  With my 1st in-laws, they were just so different from my parents.  They were older and retired and didn't leave the house much.  Since my MIL didn't work she just involved herself way too much in her kids' lives--she didn't seem to have any friends that I could ever remember, but she did have 3 sisters so maybe that took the place of friends.  My DM worked & had friends & did her own things.  My MIL wasn't terrible but it took time to adjust.  I remember one incident though when my DD was very young and we were going to have one of those kids' birthday parties at some kind of play place.  She told me she didn't want to go cause it would be too noisy, then she criticized me for not inviting her, so I said "but you said you didn't want to go--that's why I didn't send you an invitation."  Apparently she still wanted to be invited so she could say no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 1:32pm
LOL, I read this and had to post, I did not get along with exI's and I am so happy I don;t ever have to deal with them again. I am glad that my kids enjoy thier company when they are around (they live several states away) but I have NOTHING at all to do with them. It freaking wondeful!!!!!! On the flip side, SO is estranged from both parents, so I have never met either. He has never had a relationship with his father (who walked oout when SO was 3, and neve looked back) and he & his mother cut ties around the time I met him. I epect at some point she may be back in the picture, but I am not looking to develop any sort of relationship with her if she did, knowing the hurtful things she said to him and his sister.
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 2:59pm

I am please to announce that we not only survived, but actually enjoyed my DD's birthday party at my house that included my family, and DD's father and grandmother.  I don't think I have had them over like that in probably 5 years or so.  It wasn't my original plan, but kind of morphed into it.  

Probably won't do it again for a very long time, but considering my SO really doesn't care for my xMIL, this was HUGE.  

Serenity