Siblings and the Ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Siblings and the Ex
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:06pm

not sure what to call this, but here goes:

Ex and I were divorced in 1998, after a 28 year marriage. Together we had two children who are now adults with their own children. Ex has six siblings, I have 4.

I met DW in 2001 and we wed in 2002. DW has no children.

It was not a pleasant divorce. Ex ended our marriage due to an affair, whom she married, but has since divorced.

All during our marriage I was close to 2 of my 4 siblings and their families.

As things have evolved, my Ex now is closer and sees my siblings often. She spends holidays with them, etc.

Basically it can be characterized as “she won my family in the divorce.”

I am curious if others have similar tales?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 12:27pm

Hi kevski and welcome to the board.

I know a few people had to somewhat deal with this, although I never have. I'm lucky, I guess, I have severed all ties with my X's and they have stayed out of my life since.

I'm curious. Does your X stay in touch with your siblings because they were good friends during the marriage? Or for your kids (adult or not)?

And do you think you're no longer close to those two, because they may have some sympathy for your X's side of the story? For many of us, although cheating is cheating...we also believe that there's more to the story when it comes to the "why ppl cheat".


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 11:14pm
yes, yes, yes! I hear your pain! I have been divorced over 3 years now and my sis and my step dad and mother cannot let him go, I am at my wits end with them. I have let them know how their actions make me feel and they don't seem to get it, that he is the X son in law and I am the daughter. the only thing I can tell you is your not the only one facing this issue, and it's their loss if they continue to exclude you. try to connect with other family members and keep the faith that life goes on and you have to take care of yourself, do what is right for you. we do however have to give important people in our life time to heal. in time all things work out. time takes care of a lot of things when it comes to divorce and family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 11:01am


Thank you for the insight. I do appreciate your outlook. Time does seem to be the great equalizer.

I always seem to get all tied up in my attempts to rationalize irrational thinking. Often debating whether I am the one being...rational, or the one being irrational. These boards do a good job of deliberating upon such matters.