How will it work??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2013
How will it work??
4
Wed, 05-29-2013 - 2:40pm

Hi Everyone,

New to the board, this is my first M/D relationship. I am dating a guy 15 years older and loving it. We are moving into serious and it honestly feels amazing, except...people's opinions and reactions. Ugh! My family either pretends he's a figment of my imagination or complain he is "too old" etc. His family is more supportive because he is "finally happy". Both we are handling well, as neither of us are super close to our families. The big issue comes with our friends - who are more like our family than our actual family. There isnt one of them simply happy for us. They all have a soapbox or in his case the atta boy because I am younger and he "scored". We are planning a life, it will be a second marriage for us both, so we are not talking details lightly. I am starting to worry about how it will work with friends like these? I know we are in this, but I dont want to cut life long friends from my life inorder to be in love. Does anyone have advice?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-03-2013 - 7:12pm

I think as your friends get to know the other person more then they get to see a person more than a number.  My best friend from high school married a guy 26 yrs older--she was only 23 at that time, so I did think it was kind of strange and wondered how she could be interested in someone so OLD!  I have never been interested in anyone more than a few years older than me.  Well after a while I just got used to having him around and came to like him and just saw him as a person.  If your friends keep making comments, you should really speak up to them and tell them that you are happy and you hope that they aren't being judgmental just cause of the age difference.  Unless you're a teenager I don't think 15 yrs is really that much of a difference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2013
Wed, 06-05-2013 - 7:20pm

A teenager I am not (ha!), I will be 33 next week and have two almost teenage daughters. As for your advice, you made an excellent point - perception is everything. Right now they like their general statements and soapboxes enough to not see the specifics of the person. I will give it some time before I speak up.

Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2001
Sun, 06-09-2013 - 8:09pm

Hi SerendipitysPenn, welcome to the board!

In time, I think your friends will grow to see your significant other in a different light.   My family and friends weren't thrilled when my husband and I started dating, but they eventually grew to accept and/or like him.   I think your friends and family will eventually feel the same way.  If they don't they are the ones who are losing out.

CL for 11 years
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2013
Wed, 09-04-2013 - 11:46am

My bf and I are 16 years apart and others seem to have problems with our age difference because I am the female and 16 years older than my bf.  He says the age gap doesn't bother him but I know that one day it might eventually cause some problems especially when it comes to children.  I'm just going to live life one day at a time and thank God for everyday that I get to enjoy him and spending time with him.  I just don't feel that love knows anything about age.  You fall in love with a person and not their age.