Am I too young to date someone in the military?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2011
Am I too young to date someone in the military?
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 12:58pm

I'm in my senior year of high school (I'm 18). The guy I'm interested in is in the army

I've known him since I was really young because he is my brothers best friend. So I love him very much because he has been a part of my life for more than half of it.

When I told him I was interested in him (he is in another state right now he will be deploying I a few months) he said that because of the distance he didn't see it working out and because he and my brother are best friends he didn't want to mess anything up(which my brother has already talked to him and said it was fine). But that he shares the same feelings.

So before I keep hinting at him I just want to know. Is it really that unreasonable? Because I would imaging a long distance relationship happens ALL the time. And am I too young to be getting involved with someone in the military?

And if he were to change his mind on everything. It is difficult to keep a long distance relationship?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 9:39pm
Long distance relationships are possible, but they aren't for everyone. Relationships with people in the military just add another element to the aspect of being long-distance when they are away. Yes, they happen and there are many successful relationships, but there are also many couples that can't make it.

If he is telling you that he isn't into long distance relationships, believe him. Long distance relationships require both people to be putting in effort to the relationship and a lot of patience and understanding (especially once he deploys).

I wouldn't hint at anything, instead just be up front and honest with him. Tell him that you want to see what happens and see what he says. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 4:07am

You might see them as ridiculous excuses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 3:01pm

The other ladies have hit the nail on the head. Your age has nothing to do with it. Neither, really, does his age, his friendship with your brother, or even his military status. The bottom line is that for a relationship of any kind to work, both people have to want to be in it, and whether or not you agree, he forsees some circumstances that make him not want to be in one with you at the moment. He may change his mind in the future, and if he does, you should feel free to pursue it. But don't wait around for it to happen.

Avatar for momrisner
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-1998
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 10:19pm

Military life is hard enough as it is...add to it a long distance relationship and it becomes even harder.  There will be times he will go for weeks or months without having contact with the outside world.  Even the strongest relationship can become strained.  I know for my dh and I, when he would deploy, I would stress and worry.  There will always be rumors of infidelity...from both sides.  it doesn't matter how old you are, it happens.  I saw many relationships break down because someone would tell the soldier that while he was away his girl cheated, or vice versa.

You have to follow your conscience and your heart.  I will just tell you, it is not easy at all.  Good luck, and please keep us posted.