I Need Your Support & Advice Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
I Need Your Support & Advice Please!
28
Mon, 05-02-2011 - 11:07pm

Hey guys, newbie here! I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months now and I found out yesterday from his dad that he was deployed last week in an emergency.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Mon, 05-02-2011 - 11:26pm

Donna!

I have been wondering about you since your last posts.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 9:47am
i'm sorry your BF had to go on an emergency deployment. Just for your safety and his though, you really shouldn't be so open about what he does. There are people out there that look for that kind of information and it's really best not to announce it so openly.

I hope you hear from him soon so you can know he is okay!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2011
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 3:16pm
I hope you hear from him soon and I ditto Stacey about being so open on an internet message board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 7:00pm

Hey Sienna, yes we have! Thanks Celestial. I actually was planning on coming back on here today to edit my post because I realized after I had read an article online while at work that I may have added too much info in my post yesterday. Thanks for the advice... see i told you i was a newbie lol. But, i am learning. I would really appreciate some advice on how to cope and get through each day though. I have a little boy and i find that I get easily frustrated with him when he misbehaves because I am so frustrated.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 8:36pm
You have to find ways to keep yourself busy. Do you know what it is that is actually frustrating you? If you can figure that out and deal with it, it can help with when you are dealing with your son. You should also try to find an outlet that helps you get your feelings out. When my husband was deployed, I wrote a lot in a journal. It really helped getting the feelings out. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 9:31pm

The thing that frustrates me is when I am not able to speak to him or communicate with him when I need to or for long periods of time. Not being able to see him and be affectionate with him when I want to is also really frustrating because I am an affectionate person. I have been having some health and physical issues lately and when I am having a rough day, I hate it that I can't talk to him. He's been there for me since we've been together and then all of a sudden, it seems like he was just ripped away and gone. He talked about getting deployed and me being prepared for it but i wasn't expecting it to happen yet or so suddenly. I expected a notice and a see you later at least before he left. I have been down a little lately because I have recently put on weight that I worked so hard to loose and it's due to a foot injury. I have to be off my feet as much as possible and the dr said that I can not go to the gym for now. That really upsets me because going to the gym is a big outlet for me. Having to sit down or lay in bed all day adds to my frustration. I hate having to stay still for long. Then when my son is scheduled to be with me, we both get frustrated because he is active and I can not be active at the moment which causes him to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Thu, 05-05-2011 - 11:51pm

Hi, Donna.

I know you've already read and heeded the advice from Stacey and others regarding security, so I won't repeat that. Just now that if you ever have a doubt about what is safe to post, we do have a link to a safety warning at the top of page, and a good general rule of thumb for OPSEC is this: if it's not something you would find printed in the newspaper citing a non-anonymous source, don't post it in a public forum or even on a private social networking account (trust me; you do not want to know how little protected your information even if your privacy settings are completely locked down).




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Sat, 05-07-2011 - 2:03pm

Stacey and Writergirl are awesome... thanks so much for looking out for me! Thanks for the advice. It really helps and it makes me feel cared about

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Sun, 05-08-2011 - 8:42pm

I think working on developing good eating habits is a really great idea to help you meet your health and fitness goals. I lost 40 pounds using Weight Watchers once upon a time. Unfortunately, as soon as I stopped using the program, I gained some of it back. Add in some major medical issues, a whole lot of stress, and having a baby, and I'm right back to losing weight. This time around, I'm using SparkPeople (because it's free and actually has more online tools than Weight Watchers). Some weeks I'm more on point with my program than with others, but at least I'm working things out that I can live with forever. So far, I've figured out that 90% of my effort has to go into my nutrition. If you don't eat right, it doesn't matter how much you move! (The problem is that I really, really, REALLY like cookies. And candy. And cheeseburgers. Well, at least watching Food, Inc helped with the cheeseburger craving!)




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 9:58pm

Happy Mother's Day by the way. Wow you lost 40 pounds? Ok, i'm even more inspired to get back on Weight Watchers again lol. I want to loose that much and prob more, It'll definately keep me busy and get me healthy going on the plan. I'm already noticing that I am eating a lot and it's mostly because I'm either bored or it helps to soothe me when I start really missing my boyfriend and as I said, as good as it feels to eat cookies (which i'm also addicted to and it's funny because i'm a cake decorator and I can resist the cakes but not cookies) and food, I know it will hurt me and make me even more sad in the end. It already is starting to have an effect on me and i do feel bad after bingeing which makes me binge even more. My metbolism has changed for the worse after I had my son so i understand the whole having children thing. I think it's funny and cool that you love cheeseburgers. I never really hear of women admitting that. I went to my surgeon last week who said that he sees improvement in my foot so I am gradually going to get off the crutches, then the cast, and then if I don't experience any pain once the cast is off, i can keep it off but i have to get special insoles and wear sneakers all the time (yuck). Of course my main question was "Will i be able to walk and run again?" and I got a yes but take it slowly. I am so anxious to start working out again. Eating and siting in bed it driving me nuts. It is such a huge stress reliever for me to run or walk for like 30 min or an hr and it would definately help me to cope with the deployment and worrying about my boyfriend so i'm anxious yet at the same time I don't want to overdo it and end up back in the hospital. Oh, and as for the developing healthy eating habits... I'll start tomm lol.

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