Keeping the relationship interesting across the miles

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2011
Keeping the relationship interesting across the miles
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 9:46pm

My guy and I were only togeather for four months prior to his deployment..Its hard..

It bums me out to think about all we are going to miss togeather we don't get to spend our first christmas togeather, New years, Valentines, my birthday...So i try not to think about it.

I love him lots but i miss out on our date nites, our time spent togeather.. I am greatful to get to instant message but need some ideas to keep things interesting..

We have learned alot since he has gotten to his duty post...

Internet connect horrible- not able to use skype- we are able to instant message

Occasional phone calls- phone system sucks as well

I will not be able to visit as we thought I might be able to cause I am not millitary and am not a wife or a dependant.

Anyone with any ideas to keep things interesting?

I thought reading a book togeather

Watching a movie togeather

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 11:33am
I'm confused, is he deployed (as in to Iraq or Afghanistan) or just at duty station?

As far as ways to keep it interesting, you have to figure out ways to work with what you have. Which IM program are you using for IM'ing? Have you checked out the webcam abilities with the different messenger programs? If you can't chat over webcam, perhaps you both can record messages for each other and then e-mail them to each other. Yeah, it's not the same as being in person or seeing it in real time, but it's something. You can mail care packages as well. You can get creative and do themed care packages. It can be fun.

As far as visiting, it just depends on where he is at. If he is deployed in a war zone, no you can't visit (neither can wives and dependents). If he is at a regular duty station, it doesn't make much sense that you can't visit him at all because you can travel to where ever you want. You wouldn't be able to stay with him on post, but you could get a hotel in the area and he could see you there, unless for some reason he's not allowed to leave the post (which is rare).

Can you clarify your situation a little more so that we can give you some better advice?