Struggling

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Struggling
10
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 8:04am

I actually started confessing this in the weekly confessions thread, but I stopped because I realized it was going to get too lengthy.

I'm really struggling right now, and yesterday, I realized I'm probably dealing with a mild case of depression. This isn't unheard of for me, but it's not common either (i.e. not even annual).




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:43am

I understand how you feel.

Tricia

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 10:49am
I don't have any advice really for the FRG meetings aspect of it, but I do have a friend that is stationed at Gordon herself and she has a little boy also. He's much younger than Toby (I think he's like 6 months old) but if you're interested, I can get you in touch with her. She's pretty laid back. If you aren't interested that's ok too since I know you wouldn't know this person at all ;-)
Hang in there, Mel. You've come here and talked about it so that's a good first step and hopefully it will start looking up from here. Good luck convincing yourself to go to a meeting. I do agree with Tricia though to try for things that aren't necessarily Army-related.
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:18pm

Thanks, guys.

I'm still feeling a bit shaky today. No doubt, I'm feeling a little more fragile than normal because there actually is some hormonal emotional overload at play, though there is




iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2011
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:35pm

I ditto Tricia on calling OneSource.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 1:46pm

I know I'm far away, but you know the offer still stands if you ever need to talk about Maya.

I remember when I lost my second (mine and Tom's first), people had such a hard time understanding how difficult it was for me to be around a friend who was still pregnant. It was especially painful because her son was due 7 days after our baby, and she ended up naming him Aidan, the boy name we'd picked for ours (and it wasn't to honor us either; it was just her being a...). I ended up being unable to be friends with her at all because she was so insensitive about it.

Anyway, I really don't know what it is with this FRG. It's not a rank thing because you have to be a certain rank to get into this MOS. And most of us are around the same age (mid-twenties to mid-thirties). It's just... well, like I said, I don't know. Maybe it's just that our company doesn't move as a company, so there's a lack of cohesiveness. Still, I don't understand how some of the guys can be so cool and have wives that are so... whatever they are. It kind of sucks even more because I had high hopes coming down here. I got to know several of the guys in Arizona (almost half of Tom's class ended up here), but since I was one of only two wives who went to AZ, I didn't get to know the wives. Still, I had hoped that we'd get to know each other here. Oh well.




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 2:24pm
I sent her a message on facebook with your contact info. Her name is Heather Hamilton, so you're aware of who it is if she contacts you. I'm not sure how often she gets on facebook, with a 6 month old, but I sent it :-)
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 3:28pm
Here is the link to CYS for Gordon, start here !

http://www.fortgordon.com/cyss.php

Tricia

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 6:35pm

Aww, Melanie, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. The other ladies gave excellent advice, and I can see by your later posts that you have already taken some big steps to help yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 11:51pm
There's nothing more I can think of to add then what's already been said. If we were closer I would def. hang out and take Toby from time to time. *HUGS*
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Sat, 02-05-2011 - 7:16am

Thanks for all the support, everyone (and for the link, Tricia). Not much actual progress has been made this week since it has turned out to be a more hectic week than I anticipated (one of those "if it can be more complicated than it has to be, it will" weeks). However, there has been progress.

In another thread, I mentioned that the person who owns our house is deciding if he wants to try to sell it or if he just wants to let us renew our lease for another year. He still hasn't made a decision, but he did -- via the property management company -- ask when Tom is due to return. I'm guessing he's wanting to try to sell, but, being military himself, he feels bad about making a woman with a young child move while her husband is gone. That was Thursday afternoon, and I haven't heard anything else about it. Anyway, Tom happened to call an hour or so after I got that phone call, and I tried to talk to him about our options. It wasn't a good conversation. We didn't argue or anything. I just left the conversation feeling like he'd been distracted the whole time (kept talking about laundry and his classes) and like he didn't really care what I was worried about or what was going on here. So, I kind of lost it, and my nightly e-mail to him ended up being a really short message that just told him that I was overwhelmed and super emotional and too tired to really say much else. Well, that got his attention.

He ended up calling yesterday morning before he thought Toby would be up. Toby was already up, but he was eating breakfast and watching PBS Kids, so we still had a chance to really talk, and I had a chance to tell him why I am struggling so much lately and how I sometimes wonder if he has been missing ME (instead of sex, my cooking, someone to do his laundry, Toby, etc -- meaning just the companionship of having me there, talking to me, etc) since he spends so much time talking about everything else without ever asking about me or telling me that he misses me. We had a chance to talk about my feeling of isolation down here and what has led to that and what I'm trying to do to make it better. And we had a chance to talk about the housing situation again since I really needed to get a handle on what his priorities were for housing (size of house, distance from work, etc... believe me, his laundry list is a lot longer than mine). And then he surprised me. He said "Do what's going to be best for you."