Your thoughts please...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
Your thoughts please...?
3
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 8:16pm

Hey guys! I was wondering if you guys could help me answer a few questions. About five months ago I met this really great guy who happens to be in the National Guard. Shortly after met he was sent to Camp Gruber I believe and to a couple others for about three months and was just recently deployed for 12 months to Afghanistan. We've talked nearly every day, he talks about this whole being gone things sucks for right now but that he promises he will make it up to me when he gets back home. He really is something special:) I'm new to this type of situation and concerned about giving him the right kind of support. Usually when I write letters they just sounds so.. menial i guess. I feel like talking about something so little when he has so many bigger things on his mind. Same thing for when he calls, I talk about how hot it has been here and then i realize how he is over there walking in 115+ weather in uniform and hasnt said a word. Idk, I just want to be as supportive as possible, any ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 12:26pm

I've found, when talking to soldiers, that they want to hear about the little things, because it makes them feel closer to home.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2011
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 6:50pm
I had the same thoughts while my SO was deployed there. I often felt selfish for only talking about what was going on with me but he hated it over there and needed to hear about anything not related to the Army. He explained it to me like this one day, imagine the worst job you ever had and you could never get away from your job, your co-workers, or your boss, now times that feeling by 100, and that's how he felt. He's trained to be focused on what he has to do but needed to be reminded that his life would be normal again. There would be days that he was too tired to even talk back to me so all he did was sit there and listen to me talk about filing my taxes for a half hour. A conversation about taxes is probably the most boring thing I've ever talked about but it was a way for him to take a much needed mental break. One of the other ladies gave me the best advice about just keeping the relationship as normal as possible by talking to him like he were right there next to you. Basically she told me sharing the good, regular, and bad parts of what's going on in your life is important for keeping the relationsip healthy. Just by being there for him you're being supportive. If you guys skype, one of our favorite things to do was play the games on there against each other. There were sometimes when we really didn't have anything to talk about but that made it so we still had interaction plus it was really fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2011
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 10:58am
They love reading your ramblings. Sad events or various drama going on is where you may want to filter things.