Not sure what to do about...................

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Not sure what to do about...................
11
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 6:37pm

.............an almost 14yo with incredible mouthiness and absolute refusal to do what he's asked?

Ladies, I know not all of you have kids or will have any input but I'm really at a loss right now.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 9:18pm

I am hoping that he turned back into his 'normal' self today!

Annie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 9:55pm
Thanks Annie, I was hoping for some words of wisdom from you. He is much better today and I know everyone is entitled to some off days. Honestly, I was thinking a little one on one time might just be the ticket and you have firmed that idea up for me. I know it will be after the fact but I'm also hoping it gives us some time without the other two that we can just talk.

Thanks for listening. I'm sure this won't be my last "teen years" post since I am just getting started. ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 5:33pm
Are they alternating chores each day? If so, maybe try have them alternating each week. It might help cut down on the finger pointing on who was supposed to do what on which day or who didn't do their job on their day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 9:49pm
At this point they are alternating each day. If the issues continue, I may take your suggestion. The even/odd day thing came into play when they first started chores and THEY chose to alternate days.............so BEN = 3 letters = odd days and ALEX = 4 letters = even days. I would definitely have to be marking the calendar whose week it is because it will be ME that can't remember. LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2011
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 11:12am
Some of it is just him being 14. I teach middle school so I know all about that. My favorite line is "I'm not a little kid." "That's right you're not. So, don't be surprised that when you don't get X b/c you didn't do Y, I don't have anything to say. You're old enough to know the routine of how things go. You know the rules and the consequences."

I don't think it'll hurt to ask your DH to write him an e-mail or a letter just to reinforce how important it is to follow the rules when he's gone. I know it's hard b/c we don't want to bother them with what we see as non-important or stressful, but sometimes they want to know and want to help.
Avatar for seamour
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 11:56pm

so often when we are in the trenches, we forget the obvious.

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Avatar for seamour
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 11:58pm
oh save us all from the finger pointing!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 4:13pm
I almost forgot about the testostorone spikes! That was as hard to deal with as dealing with a PMSing teen girl! At least with boys it is a spike and calms down faster than the week of PMS!
Annie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 9:42am
My two are killing me with the finger pointing. It doesn't matter what the issue is, they always blame each other. And they're only 7 and 3, with the 3YO being way worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 1:22am
Mic, I do think that I need to make room for that one-on-one time in our schedule. I haven't done it just yet with DH coming home next week but will definitely make sure I do that in the coming months. I think Alex could benefit from some "mom time" too. Nathaniel is the only one who gets me to himself anymore.

I do need to make sure I'm following through on the consequences with Ben too. I find myself letting it slide just knowing that the attitude/arguing that will go along with it. No pain, no gain I guess. LOL

We've had a couple little tiffs but nothing major since this one I posted about. Thank you God!

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