Ack! 1st exp. with base! help!

Avatar for nerlami
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Ack! 1st exp. with base! help!
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 3:58pm
Hi gals!

I am having my first experience with trying to communicate with the AFB to set up a move and all that jazz..and I am so nervous.

I called the base a couple weeks ago to ask general questions - talked to the Family Suppt Center, Housing and Transportation just to get general facts so i knew what to expect if it came time for us to mov3e. It got back to my husband's unit that somehow i was trying to MOVE US already and he hadn't graduated yet. So the MTLs were pulling him aside for two days trying to straighten it out. I was so embarrassed but it wasn't MY fault they discombobulated what i said! (they were mad cuz he's in a program with a high washout rate and they thought he was being cocky thinking he would pass or somethign i guess?? NOT EVEN CLOSE TO TRUE!!)

So i haven't talked to ANYONE since. Yesterday his sgts told him to start the paperwork to move... even though he STILL hasn't graduated... becuz it is close enough now that there HAS to be some prior planning. after my first experience OF COURSE i'm leery!

I am SCARED TO DEATH of getting my husband into trouble. I know emails i send to his MTL at the gaining base are getting all the way down to his MTL at his current trainig squadron cuz my husband saw them on his desk! (the gaining MTL called me and asked me to contact him directly with any questions and not mess with any other dept.) The MTL is short with me and doesn't answer all my questions and keeps going back to the assumption that i am trying to move before he graduates.. WHICH IS NOT i end up having to re-ask them over and over again and keep reassuring them i am NOT trying to move right this second...just follow directions! .


the big question i gonna get him in trouble or call attention to him by asking questions (and having to RE-ask them) ... Should I drop things quick or SHOULD i be a little more assertive about getting questions answered? I know not many men are married in this program and i do NOT want him to be seen as the problem child becuz he is married and there are all these details to attend to.

UGH UGH! I dont know if i should be the tough as nails spouse or the compliant one in order to help my husband succeed...

Thanks for any advice you can give.



"I've learned
that it is the weak who are cruel,
and that gentleness is to be expected
only from the strong."

Avatar for gargoyle89
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 6:14pm

I'm so sorry your experience with the military thus far isn't so great. When my husband was a Marine I let him handle everything. The Coast Guard is a bit more family oriented in that I can ask questions and not get a blank stare or something like that. At least that's the way it feels to me. Being that they've already scolded your husband on this issue I would say drop it and let him deal with it himself. My husband made a very big point in telline me along time ago when we got married that sh!t rolls down hill. And that if you do something perceived as being out of line it will effect him. So just let this one lie until he can take care of things. Then when hs says ok find out the info then you can find out the info. But as for moving I've never done anything with it until it's actually set in, well ok not set in stone cause the military never sets anything in stone. :-) But you get the idea. Save your hard as nails spouse things for something else. LOL You can pull it out at least one time in his military career and I think get away with it. Though I never did when he was in the Marines. I just waited and then yelled at him when I was agrivated. Good luck and I hope things go better for you soon.

Hugs to you