Deployment shoves back wedding plans. Thoughts? Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2010
Deployment shoves back wedding plans. Thoughts? Advice?
5
Tue, 05-10-2011 - 1:50pm

Hi All! I recently eloped with my best friend of 13 years. While very few family and friends know, we were planning on having a vow renewal/wedding for the family and friends to gather at. We got hitched in Feb, moved in together (finally) last month, and were planning on throwing the big shin-dig in November.

This is his first year in the Navy. He's a submariner, which means he'll have fairly regular deployments. Yeah!

However, we don't know his schedule yet, so it makes it just about impossible to plan anything. I'm a big planner and I usually can pull a plan B out of my back pocket for just about any situation. In this case, though, I'm a little stumped as to a "plan b".

- TronGal
 (Singer/songwriter/contributing author for

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Instead of having a full blown vow renewal/wedding, could you just schedule sort of a celebration weekend type thing? If you want to do the Disneyworld thing, just pick a date that would work and plan on a couple of activities everyone could do plus a nice dinner out. If you did something like that, everyone would still be able to celebrate your marriage without all the chaos of trying to have a million different things lined up when you really don't know dates. I would think a weekend like that could easily be planned a month or two out so you guys will know what's going on with the Navy and everyone will still have time to make travel arrangements.

It's a really tough situation but I think you should do whatever causes the least stress on you guys. With all the headaches that come with the military plus being newlyweds/just moving in together, you don't want to add any more craziness to your lives!

In my case, we had a small wedding at the courthouse and were planning on having a reception for our families at a later date but honestly, once life got going we didn't really care to have it. It just ended up being too much of a hassle to deal with and I have never regretted not having it. All of our family was perfectly fine with how it went down because they understood how hard it was trying to plan stuff around the military.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2010

Thanks for the feed back!

- TronGal
 (Singer/songwriter/contributing author for

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008

My husband was deployed right before our wedding, but we knew he would be coming back probably around October, so we picked a date in December.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
If he just got there, he should definitely get more information on when he will be gone as time goes by. I'm assuming they will know when a deployment is coming up so you should be able to plan it before or after that.

I'd just wait a little while to see what starts to play out and have him ask around on what's going to be happening in the next few months. DH's unit knew about this deployment for over a year (Army) and my brother knew about his deployment for almost that long (Air Force) so I'm assuming the Navy is the same!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2010

Thanks ladies!

- TronGal
 (Singer/songwriter/contributing author for