DH is leaving today

Avatar for ms_suzzyq
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
DH is leaving today
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 9:40am
Well, I had my last phone call from DH this morning. It wasn't quite what I was hoping for but he did tell me he loved me before saying goodbye after less than a minute. I feel so empty right now. All I want to do is cry...lots and lots of tears are waiting to fall. The only good thing about the situation is that now that he is gone I can at least mark an estimated return date on my calendar instead of just tacking on days to how long we have to be apart.

Thank God it is Friday and I don't have any clients to deal with and I can mope on the weekend.

Susan (proud but very sad army wife)


Avatar for mquin73
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 10:07am
Lots of hugs Sus! I know it's hard, but I'm glad you are looking on the positive side. Take some time for yourself, just mope around if you feel like it, just remember to pick yourself back up after a few days. And remember that we are all here for you.

Take care, lots of love and hugs.


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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 10:12am
Lots of hugs Susan! I know how hard this is. Been there myself just this week. But you will get through it. I can honestly say that the waiting on the call and the waiting on dh to actually leave the states were a lot harder than him actually being gone. If I can do this so can you!! As I tell all of the NG wives here...Suck it up! LOL Give yourself a few days and you'll be ok, I promise. Yell anytime you need someone to talk to.



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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 10:33am
Hi Hon,

It will get easier. I am not saying you're going to stop missing him or crying. I'm just saying it will get easier. I felt the same way when dh left. First I felt like finally he's gone, then I felt like crying but couldn't. Then I felt bad because I didn't cry. Then well I moped around the house for a week. I still do I just have scheduled moping time. Then I have time to actually so what I have to. Last night I went out to the movies with a friend and even though everyone has taken me out since dh left. Lastnight was the first time I was truely having fun and not so miserable that it ruined my time out. I hope and believe we all will get to that point. Once again I'm not saying you'll stop thinking about him it's just the pain will go away at times. I wish you the best and big <> from me.


Avatar for skisgirl
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 11:08am

Big hugs to you. If you need to cry then just do it, who cares if you're at work. Those around you should be supportive and understanding since they all know what's going on in the world.

Do something comforting for yourself tonight. Eat ice-cream, watch your favorite videos, etc.

But know that we're here for you.

My prayers to you and Kelly.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 11:19am
Thinking of you, hon! It's very positive for you to think of starting the countdown right away, rather think of how long you'll be apart. When DH went to OCS, I remember Melissa telling me that I should think of his being gone for four months as 20 5-day patrols, lol. Perhaps you do something of the same.

Hope Callie's being a good pup and give momma lots of lovin' during your sad time.

On the bright side - it sounds like you're out of the house which is great!

Huge hugs, Jill

P.S. We'll have to IM again soon.

Avatar for rececup
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 12:11pm
Hello sus,

sending you lots of love and BIG HUGS!!! i know how you feel sweetie, my dh left sunday in the am. it is ok to cry and be sad, but i think the waiting for his return is a good way to approach it, that is what i am doing as well. the newspaper here has two reporters with your hubby`s unit so maybe you will get to see him. take care if you need to talk my email is rececup4527@yahoo.com


Avatar for firefly280
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 12:55pm
Oh Sus... my heart just hurts knowing that he is now gone. Things are not easy, especial for you with all your other unneeded stress. I'd be lying if I said it is going to be sunshine and pupppies the whole depolyment, but there will be better days and some not so better days, as well as a few down right stinky days. But listen to me when I tell you that together we can get through this. You have me and everyone else. We LOVE you very much and because of that you will never be alone.

Luvs & Hugs


Avatar for ms_suzzyq
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 5:27pm
Thank you so much for your support. I would not survive all of this if it wasn't for this board. Thank you for caring and understanding. It is a little bewildering to be in my situation here in Canada and it is nice to have all of you to make me feel a bit more normal. Well, normal on a military wife scale. lol

Today hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I've been able to hide in my office all day and not talk to a soul. I think if people actually asked me about how I'm feeling I'd lose it right about now. I started crying reading your posts! I've fluctuated between being numb to weepy today and it is very tiring. You know, I felt alone before but only in the sense that we were apart but still able to talk or exchange emails...now, I feel kind of empty. It almost feels like it was before I met DH.

I'm going to stop off at the liquor store and buy a really nice bottle of wine and hang out on the couch tonight. The rain clouds are rolling in and the way I'm feeling it is fitting that it should pour tonight. Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday and all I have to worry about is housework and sleep.

I love all of you too and honestly you are all sanity savers for me. Thank you for caring.

Hugs and love,


Avatar for scarlett_begonia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 5:32pm
BIG hugs to you today Sus! Today & tomorrow won't be easy---I usually go into a funk the first couple days when DH has deployed. Do what feels right for you---if you feel like crashing on the couch & watching movies & crying then do it! If you decide that shopping is a good idea do it (but go w/ a pre-set spending limit or it can get dangerous! I know your shopping habits are like mine ! LOL) Basically be good to yourself--you need it now more than ever!

Know that all of us are here for you & you have my # & I dont want you to be shy about using it!!!

Be proud of your DH---he's doing an important job & sadly enough that job entails him being away from you. Just know that he misses you as much as you miss him & cannot wait to hold his beautiful bride in his arms again!!

HUGS & a shoulder for you to cry on!


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Fri, 04-11-2003 - 5:34pm

Just working my way around this site, so bear with me.

I am so sorry that you weren't able to have a more personal goodbye with Kelly. I did give him a hug before saying goodbye, I wish I could pass it on to you. I also took some pictures that I will email to you as soon as I am done here.

I TOTALLY understand your need and want to cry. I had one big breakdown yesterday after saying goodbye to Jason and have managed to stay dry since then. Though my mother did try hard to make me cry. She kept telling me how proud and impressed she was that I was holding up so well. Yeah, right.

But we will hold up just fine. We really don't have much of a choice. I want J to come back to a strong and capable wife.

Well, I guess that is it for now. Will go send those pics to you.

Hang in there.