Going away ceremony today…been a long day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Going away ceremony today…been a long day!
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 10:49pm

So I need to vent! I am 21 years old and have been married to my husband for a year. We have a one year old son. I have been with my husband for 5 years all together. At his going away part 2 weeks ago my best friend met a guy from his company. (She just got out of a relationship) She started seeing this guy knowing that he is leaving. (she is the kind of girl that always needs a guy.. not cut out for this life) They have hung out maybe 5 days total, but they text all the time. She went to the going away ceremony today and the whole bit. Now she is trying to compare her relationship with her guy with mine. She is actually looking for sympathy from me. I’ll say something about my marriage and my soldier and she always has something to try to top it. For instance she was talking about how it is going to be so hard not to wake up with him every morning. I have slept next to my husband for 3 years. She has slept next to this guy for 3 days. I had said something about how I can’t just shut my husband out. Everyplace in my house reminds me of him. Which it should! She goes on to say yea I went into my room and saw his sweatshirt and pictures that we have of one another.. I’m sorry I’m just fed up and need to vent! Any input would be awesome lol. I honestly feel like she just wants to status of dating a soldier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 9:53am
Thinking back to when I first met my husband, if he had left 5 days after I met him, I still would have missed him and I would have tried to make it work (we met and spent our first 3 years dating long distance). Even though she doesn't know this man very well and who knows if it will work out, if there was a spark there, she will miss him. I think it's always wrong to think of it as a competition of who is more deserving of their feelings.

She is going to feel how she feels and if that bothers you, then maybe you either have to not talk about deployment stuff with her or it's time to reevaluate the friendship. As we go into different phases in our lives, sometimes who we are friends with or who we can relate to changes also. It may be you are just on a completely different page now.

I'm sorry you are feeling frustrated though and I'm sorry your DH just left. I hope the time passes quickly for you. Feel free to stick around here to let us help you through!


Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 4:35pm
I agree with Amy. While your relationship is different than her relationship, both of you are missing your guys. It sucks either way for both of you. If you need a break from her, try getting some distance from her for a bit. Otherwise, try to find ways to make her into a good deployment buddy. It can sometimes be really helpful to have someone else that's going through the same thing with you so you can be there to support each other.