How do you all manage this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2010
How do you all manage this?
26
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 4:51pm

DH is PCS'ing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 3:25pm

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 12:30am

I wanted to read everyone elses posts before I replied, but I got to page three and decided I couldn't wait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 11:31am
ktqt07 wrote:

Wow, you are obviously NOT looking for a solution to your problem but instead you're looking to insult and demean other people to make yourself feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 6:09pm

Wow, you are obviously NOT looking for a solution to your problem but instead you're looking to insult and demean other people to make yourself feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 12:36am
Wow, I wish I had gotten this far down the thread before I made my first "quick reply."

Spouses like you. That's the term you used. I wonder what that means. I think most of us on this board are here because we recognize that military life is difficult, but worth the sacrifices. It's really insulting that you think the rest of us are leaching off the government. It seems to me like many of us have made this sacrifice- the ones you are so unwilling to make. I don't think that's leaching off the government. None of us married our husbands for a fabulous paycheck- that's one thing none of them will ever really have. But that shouldn't have anything to do with your own career. I am college educated, and I have had to change jobs as well. But it's one of the sacrifices I'm willing to make because of our lifestyle.

You are not losing everything. You can sell your house(s), sell the furniture if you don't have room for it. Unless you're insinuating that you won't be able to make your car payments (as far as losing your car), maybe you could just get a cheaper car? I drive around in a 10 yr old jeep with my kids, and we live in a 3-room apartment (about 350 sq ft). And yeah, of course I'd like to have a house. But it doesn't make sense when the military might move us anywhere. Being a part of the military I would consider to be a priviledge. If you obviously don't want any part of it, so you don't have to be. But I'm sure your husband could use the support from you. He's not there to support you financially. He's there to love you and support you emotionally. Money has nothing to do with it. Being a part of the military is about making things work and appreciating what you have. It's about needs, not wants.
baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 12:23am
I know it's difficult, but like PP's have said, thats just kind of how it goes w/the military. Renting really isn't that bad. You don't have to worry about any of the upkeep, and when something breaks, you don't have to pay to fix it. Renters insurance is cheaper than homeowners insurance, so that's another plus. You can probably get base housing for your new location until you find something you like, or until you sell the other house.
Even though he loses a percentage of his BAH, it's adjusted to the cost of living in that new area. So you might be surpried what you can afford there.
I'm not sure what you mean by him losing his clearance or his job over this...
baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 11:08pm
Well, thank you for the laugh. What you just said was so comically judgmental and childish that I just couldn't help literally laughing out loud.

Listen, I am college educated, home owner, that owns her own furniture and car. Some i've accomplished before marrying my husband and some we did together while building our life together. I gave up a promising career for a life that is challenging, thanks to the military but has provided many blessing, namely my daughters. I have zero regrets and certainly didn't hitch myself to an army man to get a better life.

I find it sad that you've stacked your sense of identity and self worth on things that can easily be taken away. If not the military, what about a job loss or a house fire? Things aren't permanent. Relationships can be if you put in the effort and care. And that's what many of us have chosen.

Let me finish with this, if you do choose to follow your husband, why do you think you'll lose your education? I am the daughter of immigrants, neither with a college education. My parents encouraged us to go to college not only because of the career opportunities, but because it is the one thing my parents could give us that could never be taken away. They have both lived without as kids and saw an education as a gift to yourself, something that's apart of you. And even though I'm a stay at home mom, its now a gift I share with my children. It certainly doesn't go wasted. And it shouldn't with you if you choose to move.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 10:43pm

I'm glad I was away at the hospital giving birth this weekend or I might have beat Amy to the punch and said some not so nice things also.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 8:03pm
Get some perspective and get over yourself.
I think once you do that, you'll see your life isn't that horrible.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 8:02pm
Thanks for replying before I did Amy, lol. I have never read something more offensive and insulting.

OP, I AM a college graduate who had a fantastic career prior to marrying my husband. I chose to marry him and knew what that entailed. You seem to have come here just to be mean and nasty to all of us and I'm not sure why you would do that.
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