I am so mad I feel like I'm going to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I am so mad I feel like I'm going to
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:07am
Last week I started a part time job at the mall. A neighbor of mine works at the store I'm working at. We made arrangements so that I would watch her kids during the day when she works and she watches mine at night. During the day I have up to 6 kids (my 4 and her 2). Along with staying home with all the kids I clean the house and run my errands. She comes home and I go in. While she is here she lets the kids do what ever they want and doesn't set limits. Her 2 are at her house with her husband by this time. When I get home my house is trashed. I don't know how to talk to her about it. I'm tired of having to clean before I go to work and come home to a messy house. She says she tried to keep up with it, which I know is not true, last night I couldn't even see my livingroom floor. Now on top of all this, her two kids have been sick and yesterday I told her they needed to go to the doctors. She said her husband would stay home from work and bring them. Well he didn't. She doesn't drive so I bring her to work every morning. Now she called the doctor and can get them in at 3:15 so her husband said he wasn't coming home from work early and to call me have me pick her up ate 2:45, bring her and the kids to the doctors, bring her back to work and the kids back to my place after the doctors. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I also have noticed that my 2 oldest are not getting their homework done. She says that she tells them to do it but they don't. I'm starting to think the extra money isn't worth it. Help, I don't know how to talk to her about this without exploding.


Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:15am
I'm sorry things don't seem to be working out like you'd hoped. As far as the kids go, maybe you should let her know what your expectations are of her and of them (that they pick up their toys, do their homework, and that she makes sure of all this). It shouldn't be any different than a babysitter that you pay. Technically, you both are paying each other by what you do for each other. Also, I don't think telling your kids to do their homework is gonna get them to do it! LOL I know when I TELL my kids to do something they do the exact opposite (too much like me!LOL).

Try and talk to her about it and tell her that you will not be able to work anymore, especially if your children start suffering.

I hope things start looking up for you. Lots of hugs to you.


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Avatar for ms_suzzyq
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:55am
Kristen, you are in quite the pickle. The only thing I can think of is that you need to set some serious boundaries with her and her husband regarding your responsibilites in taking care of their familial issues (ie doctors appointments). Also, you need to discuss exactly what your expectations are for her as a care giver to your children and in turn must have the same discussion with your children. She must be aware of what you consider clean and appropriate messiness. The kids need to understand that they are responisible to pick up after themselves and ensure that their homework is done. If necessary, set a time to check it when you get home and decide with your children what would be an appropriate response for it not being done. Nothing is more effective than a child having to determine their own punishment. Sometimes they'll be even more extreme than the parent. lol Everyone needs to be made aware of their responsibilites in making this new arrangement work.

Good luck and keep us posted on how things are going.