I am so sad and depressed (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I am so sad and depressed (m)
10
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:24pm
I haven't been posting much because I can't get used to this format. Plus I am really depressed. DH finally got command sponsorship for me to go to Germany, but there is a waiting list of 3 months for housing. Seems like I will never get there. I have had a lot of strength the last few months, but now I am losing it. Not sure I can handle much more. I am at a BREAKING point I think, I almost feel numb. We are going to try and get me over there for a weekend, though. MIL said she would watch the kids. Just looking for cheap fares. I am so nauseated. I have only seen him 3 weeks out of 9 months, soon to be a YEAR....he may as well do a tour in Korea!

Lonely and sad and sick.

Joni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:42pm
awwww....Joni, honey! Huge hugs, darling! I'm so sorry that it's taking a bit more time than desired, but this, too shall pass. You WILL get there, and you WILL see you dh. You and the boys WILL be with your DH. It'll happen honey! Huge, huge hugs coming your way!

As for the new board format, don't let it *scare* you away. Just remember why you joined the board in the first place, like Laurie (scarlettbegonia) said, it's not the board's format you come for, it's the companionship, laughter, friendships, support, advice, and the like....that's what you come for.

Please keep coming and posting. WE miss you! (besides, the more you post, the easier this new format gets...but....shhhhh, don't tell anyone....LOL)

I love ya, gal! You have my IM and addy if you need me!

Love ya,

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:38am
I was wondering where you were going to be stationed in Germany? My husband just got to Kitzingen, Germany and is working on getting us housing.He isn't sure how long the wait is, but they said that if it too long we can get an apartment off base so I can come over right away.If not, we might be put into temporary housing until we get on base housing.Couldn't you too do something like that so you can move there faster? Good luck to you.

Brooke
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:03am
Bamberg, Germany. The 3 month wait is for temporary housing!
Avatar for seamour
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:35am
Aw Joni, I am so sorry to hear this. As much as I liked having your for a neighbor (of sorts!) I really was hoping you would be with your DH by now, you have spent so much time apart. 3 months ! Unbelievable. SIGH. Let me know if I can do anything, you are NOT alone. For fares, sign up at travelocity for their fare watcher, find the cheapest they have over there right now and then fill out their fare watcher and they will email you when fares drop. Often you have to act quickly though cuz they only drop for a day or even hours.

Mic

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Avatar for cl_americanarose
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:13am
Joni,

The problem lies in all those that were supposed to pcs and now haven't due to the stop loss.

Hang in there. I know it is tough but you can do this

Hugs

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:20am
Joni,

You can make it. If you have made it this long you can do it. I know how hard it is, I have been living apart from my dh now for 3 years and there are days I feel the same as you. I truely believe that God does not give us more than we can handle. I know 3 months seems like forever, but just start packing and getting all the info you need to get your kids transfered to school over there (if they are in school) and I bet that once you are ready to go it won't even seem like its been 3 months. You will be in my prayers that you get into housing as soon as possible.

Keep us updated.

Kristen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:21am
Joni I have always admired how well you have handled the troubles you have been dealt with. You have always done it with amazing grace. I know how it feels to be at the edge. Trust me. About a month ago I wasn't posting at all because I truly had to force myself to make it through the day minute to minute. I cried all day and just couldn't handle it. I felt that the next five minutes in front of me were almost insurmountable.

I wish I could say it magically went away. I had to go to the doctor, and she adjusted my medication. I had spoken to my pastor, the chaplain, friends. It just wasn't ending. That was the only option for me that I had left. It has helped me immensely.

I posted under your other post, if you ever want to just talk, email me or IM me. I don't want you to feel that you are weak because you feel you are breaking. It happens to all of us, or has at one point or another. This is a tough life sometimes. There is no need to face it alone. I hate that just because I married a Marine people think I should not be sad that he is gone for 6 months or more, that I can't get my hug when i am down or that I can't put my head on his chest and let the rhythm of his heart bring me peace. We are allowed to be sad and stressed and angry. I think when we feel these things, we are so used to people telling us we shouldn't feel them that we punish ourselves and call ourselves weak for feeling bad. Don't. Let it come and then let it pass. It will pass I promise, and it will pass faster if you get it out instead of berating yourself for feeling that way. Anyway, enough ramblings from me. Hugs and positive thoughts.

Sheli

Avatar for cl_melisca
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:23am
Three month waiting list and they won't allow him to look off-post? Sheesh. That's ridiculous. You really do need to go over there. A visit will help you regain your strength.

((hugs))

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:47am
I can totally relate. Before the last war we shipped everything (CAR , clothes, even dh) to Germany for a command sponsored tour. There was very little chance dh unit would be going to war and we expected to get housing in a few weeks. Well that all changed because a colonel volunteered dh's unit and attached it to another unit. So dh went to war and what was planned as a visit with my folks turned out to be a six month stay. The housing list was frozen during the entire time and when dh returned to Germany (I was still with my folks) we had to wait for housing. It was so frustrating. My poor dh got off the plane and went to a hotel while everyone else had a happy reunion after months at war. So instead of waiting any longer we decided to fly ourselves to Germany and live in a hotel until the military worked everything out. I think if you can go you should. It made all the difference. It may just what you need to recharge yourself until housing becomes available. You may even get to travel a little without the kids! Good luck.
Avatar for want2surf
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:39pm
I agree...I think it is wonderful that your MIL will watch the kids...hope you find the flight for you. Visiting with your DH could be just the thing you need.

Remember we are here for you!

Brandie