I had to give DH a major pep talk...m

Avatar for hlilmom
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Registered: 03-26-2003
I had to give DH a major pep talk...m
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 4:12pm
He has always looked at the negative sides of things since i have known him and last night I was so sick of it I just couldn't take it anymore. We were studying for his test that he took this morning and he said he knew he wasn't going to do good. Out of 130 questions he got three wrong!! I was just really irritated, but calmed down while he called work to double check what shift they wanted him to work. So he gets off the phone and says they are fighting over what shift he is on because both supervisors want him on their shift. The swing shift sgt had told DH that he "claimed" him as his staff sgt so the dayshift guys were not getting their hands on him. First off I didn't know you could "claim" anyone, but I guess here each shift supervisor gets to pick one person that is always theirs or something. SO then he says he is tired of not feeling like he knows his job well enough to be wavered a 7 level which they are doing as soon as his test results come back. He named two other guys that he said had been staff sgts a year and were still not 7 levels and he's only been one two months. I said "Now think about this a minute. If they waver everyone as soon as they sew on staff that would mean any idiot could be one. However they are not doing that. they are picking and choosing who they feel is up to the task. Yes most guys have 6 years of service and you only have 4, but doesn't that tell you that they see great potential and really think you are the guy for the job?" Then I said, "None of the guys you worked with in FLorida for three years ever had a bad thing to say about your performance or job knowledge. The air force spent a lot of money to send you to a special engine school that normally you don't even get considered for until you are a staff sgt and you were barely an Senior airmen when you went. You were selected to deploy first when the commander said I want the very best you've got. You recieved an Air Force Achievment medal and on the written part it says you were selected by your supperours (sp?) to go get that broken plane and get it in the air so it didn't miss any combat hours. And it never missed one mission. You scored second highest in your career field when you tested for staff sgt. It's not a knowledge problem it's a confidence problem and you are not giving yourslef the credit you deserve. You are being too hard on yourself making it impossible to be confident" There was not one thing he could counter with a negative comment and he sat and thought for a while about it. Then he said he knew I was right and he went into the test today happy and didn't say one negative thing about it.

I also gave him a choice between fixing up his mustang or getting a 4 wheeler. He said the mustang has always been his dream and the 4 wheeler would only be a temporary fix. So we are picking out paint colors and hopefully getting a new cobra wing ordered and maybe some new carpet. The next time we go home we will take a month off so he can work on the car with his best friend who is also my BIL. He has the car stored in his garage for us and is doing some body work.

So I think things will calm down around here until he deploys this summer. So that is my update and hopefully i will get to post more. We have dial up so it's slow moving and I am still getting used to this new look. It's growing on me though. Have a great Wednesday.


AF wife and SAHM in Alaska

Avatar for cl_melisca
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:46pm
I'm so glad that you and your DH were able to sit down and have a heart to heart. I'm hoping that he's feeling better. It sounds like he needs to be proud of his accomplishments and that he's having a great start to what could be a very promising career.

I'm glad, too, that the four wheeler has been discussed.... and dismissed!! LOL.

:) melissa

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:50pm
What a differnce a day can make huh!? I think he was probably just a little stressed about his job, but I think you handled that well! I think it would be a lot of pressure to be promoted up so high so quick & if he's anything like my husband the thought of having to come home & tell you he failed would probably have been worse than actually failing. But, it's great to hear that he's doing so well! And, I think you handled the Mustang/4-wheeler issue perfectly! That way you get to keep going to school, get to get out of Alaska for a little while & he still feels like he has a 'toy' to play with! And, if so many guys in his unit already have 4-wheelers, to be sure one of them would let him play with it if he ever really did need to burn off a little stress on a 4-wheeler! Woo Hoo! Glad things are going a little more smoothly for you! Thanks for a happy update!!


Avatar for seamour
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 10:44pm
glad things are turning around for ya ! Sometimes (as women) we forget that all we need to do is TALK to our DH's ! LOL



Avatar for mquin73
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:40am
Yay, I'm so glad things worked out with the mustang/4-wheeler issue! And what a great pep talk you gave him. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of all their accomplishments. WTG for hubby!

Lots of hugs.


signature 2008

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:07am
It sounds like you reached a great compromise. Like someone said above maybe he can borrow a four wheeler every now and then. My dh is hoping for one by Christmas if his union negotiates a pay raise. I hope your dh enjoys refurbishing his car!